


Little Shop of Horrors

by runsandhides



Series: Park Bench 'Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-21 06:27:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3681459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runsandhides/pseuds/runsandhides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's mother comes to visit, much to his chagrin. When she finds out he's living with his boyfriend she's not too pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Even though it was Sunday, Dean still woke at 6:30. He’d been working at the garage long enough for his internal clock to activate and apparently it didn’t believe in weekends. Unfortunately, he and Cas fell asleep only four hours prior. He groaned and rolled over, closer to Cas, and snuggled against his boyfriend, tucking his head into his chest and trying to siphon off some of his sleep. When that didn’t work he tried a different plan. Maybe he could wear himself out. He started kissing at Cas’ collarbone and under his chin. Cas finally stirred.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled.

“Can’t sleep,” Dean whispered against his chest.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and then pushed at his shoulders. “Well I can and I don’t feel like waking up yet. If you’re not gonna sleep, get out.” He kissed Dean on the top of the head and rolled over. Dean huffed a sigh and climbed over Cas to get out of bed.

“What are you _doing_? You have your own side!” Cas grumbled.

“Yeah, but I was closer to this side,” Dean grinned.

“I hate you,” Cas murmured as he rolled over again, clutching Dean’s abandoned pillow.

“Love you too,” Dean said softly as he made his way out the door.

He smiled to himself as he waited for the coffee to brew. It’d been almost a year and a half since Cas walked into his record shop and he felt like he hadn’t stopped smiling. Sure, there’d been drama. _A lot_ of drama. Arson, assault, anxiety, an estranged wife. But that basically had all been taken care of and Dean figured if he could handle all of that and neither of them had fled, they could handle anything.

He poured himself a cup of joe and fed Thalia. Then he slid on Cas’ slippers and shuffled outside to grab the paper. He came back in and tossed it on the table. He didn’t feel like dealing with the outside world just yet, but Cas would want to read it when he finally got up. Usually Sam would beat him to it but he had stayed over at Jess’ _again_. Dean had no idea why they didn’t just move in together already instead of waiting until after the wedding. Then they could move Claire’s room from across the hall and Cas could have his office back.

Dean was starting to miss Claire. Okay, so maybe he’d been missing her for a while. They’d had her for Thanksgiving, which meant they missed out on Christmas. She wouldn’t be back until school let out for summer, and Dean decided that was way too far away. He grabbed Cas’ laptop from the living room and shot her a quick email. He was surprised at how quickly she’d grown on him that first summer she was there. She was smart and smart-mouthed. Charlie had joked that she was a perfect combination of him and Cas but Dean told her she was ridiculous. Though, if he thought about it long enough, the idea of them having a kid together made him feel warm and strange. Maybe someday.

 

To: Claire

Subject: Bored. 

How much longer before you come back? I’m bored and your dad sleeps too much. 

-Dean

 

While he waited for a response he tried to decide if he wanted to make breakfast for himself or wait until Cas got up. It wasn’t a real question. He knew he was going to wait, it was just something to think about in the short time it took for Claire to respond.

 

From: Claire

Subject: Re: Bored. 

Only about three more months. Think you can survive that long without me? And just wake his lazy butt up! I can see you now just sitting in the kitchen waiting. That is what you’re doing, isn’t it? 

<3 Claire

 

 

Damn kid knew him too well.

 

 

To: Claire

Subject: Re: Re: Bored. 

You’re kidding, right? You know what your dad’s like first thing in the morning! I’d rather sit here and stare at my coffee. 

<3 Dean

 

 

From: Claire

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Bored. 

So I’m guessing Sam’s at Jess’ again? It must suck to only have a 12 yo to keep you company! You need to get more friends! 

<3 Claire

 

 

To: Claire

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bored. 

I have plenty of friends! But no one else is up this early. They all seem to be able to sleep in on the weekends. And, yes, Sam is with Jess. I don’t know why he doesn’t just move in there. 

<3 Dean

 

 

From: Claire

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bored. 

Yeah, but if he moved in there then he’d just have to move everything again when you give them the apartment over the shop. You are still doing that, right? 

<3 Claire

 

 

To: Claire

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bored. 

Yeah. Hopefully they want it. I think it’ll be perfect for them. 

<3 Dean

 

After waiting twenty minutes and not hearing back, Dean decided to start breakfast anyway. It was after 9:30, time for Cas to get up, he decided. He made his usual Sunday breakfast, which consisted of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. After he finished pouring the last of the pancake batter he turned to wake Cas up, only to find him walking into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

“Morning sunshine!” Dean fixed him a plate and poured him a cup of coffee and set it in front of Cas as he sat down at the table.

“Why is it so early?” Cas moaned.

Dean just bent down and kissed him on the temple before fixing his own plate. They ate in silence while Cas flipped through the paper. This was a kind of silence Dean could enjoy.

After breakfast they stretched out on the couch. Dean turned on a lazy, Sunday afternoon movie that was on basic cable and dozed off with Cas laying on top of him, running his fingers through his hair. After a while, when Cas was sure Dean was well and truly asleep, he got up to make himself some tea. He was walking back to the living room when his phone rang.

Glancing at the caller ID he answered it quickly so as not to wake Dean.

“Hello, Anna.”

“Castiel!” she said a little nervously. “That was fast. I figured I’d just be leaving a voicemail.”

“Yes, well, I’ve been getting better. What with the medication and therapy.” He looked into the living room where his boyfriend was snoring softly on the couch. “And Dean.”

“Well that’s good,” she laughed apprehensively.

“Anna? What did you do?”

“What?”

“What did you do, Anna?”

“Ha ha. Well, um, I was talking to Mother the other day…”

“Oh no…”

“I mean, she asked about you. She always asks about you, Castiel. She misses you.”

“She doesn’t miss me, Anna. She doesn’t even know me.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Anna, what did you tell her?”

“She really wants to see you, Cas.”

“Anna?”

“So I might have mentioned that you were living in Kansas?”

Cas grit his teeth. “God damn it, Anna.”

“And I might have given her your address.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he growled.

“She’s worried about you!”

“Anna, I live with my boyfriend! I don’t want to deal with her bigotry and, and, her fucking looks, and all her damned disappointment!” he shouted into the phone.

Dean sat up on the couch and looked around blearily. Cas was in the kitchen with the phone to his ear. He was pretty sure he’d never seen Cas that pissed before. He shuffled in and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. Cas leaned back into him.

“I’m sorry,” Anna whispered.

He sighed. “When is she coming?”

“Next week.”

Cas slumped and Dean tightened his grip so he wouldn’t slide to the floor. When Cas tossed his phone onto the table Dean asked, “What’s wrong?”

“My mother is coming,” Cas said with doom.

“Oh… So…?”

“I haven’t talked to her since Amelia left. My other sister, Hael, let slip what happened. She doesn’t approve.”

“Approve of?”

“Me being attracted to men.”

“Oh. Do you want me to… I mean, I can go stay with Bobby or something until…”

“No. I’m not going to hide who I am and I’m certainly not going to hide you. Maybe once she realizes that she’ll just go back home and leave me alone.” Although Cas knew better. There was no way his mother was just going to let it go. There would be lecturing and trying to drag him to church. Hopefully it won’t make Dean too uncomfortable. “Unless you don’t want to be around for this.”

“Cas, if you want me here, I’m not going anywhere.” A sly grin crossed his face. “I’ll try my best to behave.”

“You just be yourself. You can’t damage my relationship with my mother any more than it already is.”

Dean nodded and kissed the top of Cas’ head. “When is she coming?”

“I don’t know. I hung up on Anna before I could get all the details.”

As if on cue, his phone buzzed on the table. Dean reached back and handed it to Cas.

_Anna: She’ll be there next Monday._

_Anna: I’m so sorry._

Cas turned around in Dean’s arms and tucked his head into his neck.

“We’ll make it work, Cas. I’m sure she loves you. We just have to show her that you’re still you.”

Cas just shook his head and wound his arms around Dean.

“We’ll get through this,” Dean assure him. “We’ve already been through a lot. I say bring it on.”

“One day your false bravado is going to bite you in the ass,” Cas mumbled.

 

_Dean: So your mom is coming to visit us. Any tips?_

_Gabe: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_Gabe: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_Gabe: *gasp*_

_Gabe: HAHAHAHAHA_

_Dean: Thanks dick_

_Gabe: I’m sorry. That really sucks. Don’t know what to tell you_

_Gabe: Good luck?_

_Dean: Ugh_

_Gabe: How’s Cas handling it?_

_Dean: He’s kinda freaking out_

_Gabe: Tell him not to take any of her shit_

_Gabe: Same goes for you_

_Dean: None of this is actually helpful_

_Gabe: Nothing can help you now_

_Gabe: How did she find him?_

_Dean: Anna_

_Gabe: Anna has a big mouth sometimes. I’ll give her a call_

_Dean: Cas already yelled at her_

_Gabe: What’s he doing now?_

_Dean: He locked himself in his office. I guess he needed some alone time_

_Gabe: You didn’t do anything stupid did you?_

_Dean: Why, have you worked on your threats?_

_Gabe: I most certainly have! But I’m not gonna waste it on a text_

_Dean: Sure_

_Dean: I didn’t do anything. He just started mopeing and said he wanted to be alone for a while. I get it_

_Gabe: Yeah, that sounds like him. He’ll probably be texting me soon_

_Dean: So no advice?_

_Gabe: Stand your ground. And don’t let her push Cas around_

_Dean: I feel like I’m heading into battle or something_

_Gabe: You are_

_Castiel: Is there a reason Anna hates me?_

_Gabriel: Your man is hotter than hers?_

_Castiel: You have a good point._

_Castiel: She gave Mother my address. She’s coming next week._

_Gabriel: Yeah, Dean told me. Sorry bro_

_Castiel: How often do you two speak?_

_Gabriel: Sometimes?_

_Gabriel: He was just looking for advice on how to deal with mommy dearest_

_Castiel: Maybe I shouldn’t put him through this._

_Gabriel: He wants to be there for you. Don’t tell him I said this, but you’ve got a really good gut there_

_Gabriel: *guy_

_Gabriel: Although, the way he cooks I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a gut too_

_Castiel: Haha._

_Castiel: What am I going to do?_

_Gabriel: Don’t let her give you any shit. It’s your fucking life, not hers_

_Castiel: Thanks._

 

Dean was in the kitchen fixing dinner when Cas finally came out of his office. He felt bad for shutting Dean out when all he wanted to do was help, but he needed some time to come to terms with what was happening. He and his mother never got along well, and he didn’t see that changing.

“What are you making?” he asked as he sat down at the table.

“Lasagna,” Dean replied, not turning around.

“Are you mad?” Cas ventured.

“Mad about what?” Dean still wouldn’t face him.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, even though Dean couldn’t see him. “My mother, the fact that I locked myself away in my office…”

“Nope.”

“Did I do something?”

“Cas, I’m not mad. I’m just trying to put this lasagna together.”

“Okay,” he replied quietly

Dean sighed as he laid the last noodle of the layer he was working on in the dish and dropped his head. He turned around and looked at Cas.

“You gotta quit thinking I’m mad at you just because you’re in a bad mood. It doesn’t work like that. I’m just making dinner. No angst, no animosity.” He spread his hands in front of him. “I get it. You’re having a shitty day. That’s why I let you do your thing. _I get it_.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “I love you, Cas. I’m not gonna get pissed over something you had no control over. Now com’ere so I can kiss you and get back to putting this together.”

Cas got up and walked over to Dean for his kiss.

“I’m sorry.”

Dean shook his head with a little smile. “Stop. Believe me, you’ll know when I’m pissed at you. Ask Sammy.”

“Okay. Do you need any help?”

“Nah, it’s just a lot of layering. I don’t make it often so it’s not automatic and a little time consuming. I should be done soon, though.”

“Alright.”

“Why don’t you go put a record on and then I’ll show you what I’m doing?”

“Anything in particular?”

Dean shook his head. “Dealer’s choice.”

Cas walked into the living room and flipped through his records. Dean had put them in a stack of milk crates next to the turntable so they were easier to get to and had started adding to the collection. He found the one he was looking for and set the needle down.  He went back out to the kitchen and stood next to Dean.

“Dead Kennedys?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“It feels like a Dead Kennedys kind of day.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.”

Dean showed Cas what he was doing: pasta, cheese, meat. Then he let Cas do the last layer. When they were finished they dumped a bunch of cheese on top.

“That’s it?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I just always forget how the layers go until I’m looking at it.”

Cas smiled at him.

“Shut up.” Dean knocked into his shoulder. He slid the lasagna into the oven.

“So what’s the big occasion, then?”

“You were having a bad day. That calls for comfort food. There’s not much that’s more comforting than lasagna.”

“Have I told you I loved you today?”

“Hmm. I don’t think you have, actually,” Dean teased.

“How long does it take to cook?” Cas nodded at the oven.

“About half an hour.”

Cas hooked his fingers into Dean’s belt loops. “That’s just enough time for me to show you.”

Dean started to let himself be led when the front door opened and Sam and Jess walked in.

“Come on, guys! You have a room!” Sam yelled over the music. Cas dropped his hands and Dean flashed a smile at Sam before kissing his boyfriend soundly.

“Raincheck,” he murmured against Cas’ lips.

Sam walked over to the record player and turned the volume down. “We could hear the music all the way outside. Do you really need it that loud, Dean?”

“Me? It was Cas!”

“Sure it was.” Sam said skeptically.

“Yeah, Dean. I could barely hear myself think!” Cas teased.

“Wha?” He looked at Jess. “Do you believe this?”

She put her hands up. “Oh I’m staying out of this one.”

“Fine.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “You guys don’t get any lasagna, then.”

“Lasagna?” Sam asked, concerned. “What happened?”

Cas sighed. “My mother is coming to visit.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “That’s call for lasagna?”

“We… haven’t spoken in a while.”

Sam nodded in understanding. “Well, I can stay at Jess’ while she’s here if you need me out of the way.”

“Oh shit, Cas,” Dean butt in. “Where’s she gonna stay? Will she be alright with a hotel?”

“Once she sees that I’m living with my boyfriend and his brother she won’t want to stay here anyway. Thank God. And no, Sam, you don’t have to stay out of the way. She wants to see me, she can see exactly who I am.”

Sam raised his eyebrows “Ah. I get the lasagna now.”

Dean nodded.

 

Tuesday, for lunch, Dean met Charlie at Rebellion, the coffee shop, like he always did. He ordered his coffee and a sandwich and found her sitting at their table in the back.

“Hey,” he said as he sat down.

“Hola,” she said cheerily. “What’s shakin' bacon?”

Dean sighed. “Of all the girls you’ve dated, have you ever had to deal with homophobic parents?”

“Of _all_ the girls I’ve dated? What do you think I am?”

“I think you’re 25 years old and a sexually active human. I mean, you’re not a nun, Charlie.”

“Well the only one’s whose parents I’ve actually, formally met were Gilda’s, and they’re super cool. Why? Cas’ folks giving you a hard time?”

“His mom’s coming to visit next week and I guess she’s not gonna be too thrilled when she finds out.”

“When she finds out? She doesn’t know?”

“Are you gonna keep repeating my questions to me?”

“Am I gonna keep repeating your questions-” Dean threw a handful of sugar packets at her. “Sorry,” she laughed.

Dean smiled briefly. “I guess they haven’t talked in like, five years or something. Like, she knows, but Cas wasn’t the one who told her, you know?”

“Damn. He couldn’t have told her when he talked to her?”

“He _hasn’t_ talked to her. His sister finally broke and told her where to find him. I don’t even know if we’re supposed to know she’s coming.”

“Sounds like a whole lot of trouble if you ask me.”

“Yeah, nobody’s really thrilled about it.”

“So what’s the plan? Pretend you’re not dating? Try to make her love you anyway? Scare her away with a big, gay orgy?”

“Charlie!” Dean laughed.

“I’m just saying, Gilda and I could probably round up a few people and be there when she arrives. It could be hilarious.”

“I think we’re going more for the second thing. Cas says he’s not going to pretend to be something he’s not and he’s definitely not going to hide it from her. He’s 35, he says, and she’s can’t control his life.”

“Jeez you guys are old.”

“I still have sugar packets.”

“Sounds like he’s stressed though.”

“Yeah, he’s been in a mood ever since his sister called. I don’t know what to do for him. This is something I never had to deal with.”

“I know, we’re lucky-”

“Yeah, lucky our parents are dead,” Dean interrupted bitterly.

“ _Lucky_ we have family who loves us and just want us to be happy. Maybe you need to make it clear to Cas that he has that too.”

“He should know that.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes people need reminding.” She looked at him pointedly.

“Point taken.”

“So,” She said brightly, changing the subject. “I was talking to Andy, and I think we need to have a guild meeting this weekend.”

“I have to help Cas get the house ready.”

“I thought you said he doesn’t give a shit.”

“He doesn’t. But I’ve never really had to do the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing. I want the house to look decent.”

She waved it away. “You can do that in less than a day. I’m just talking a couple hours on Sunday. Besides, I bet Cas would like a distraction.”

“You’re probably right. I’ll have to check with him first, but we’ll more than likely be there.”

“Damn, you’re whipped. Never thought I’d see the day.”

Dean grabbed the rest of the sugar packets and threw them across the table at his Queen.

 

They gathered around the map spread out on Charlie’s table. Apparently the number of shadow orcs was increasing and Charlie was concerned they would be planning to strike soon.

“I can talk to Ruby at the meet next weekend and see if she knows anything,” Sam said thoughtfully. Jess glared at him. “What?”

“I don’t like her,” she growled.

“She’s my best source of information! She know’s I’m engaged and you know I’m not stupid enough to do anything.”

“But you want to?”

“What? No! I-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Charlie interrupted. “Let’s focus, shall we?” Sam heaved a sigh of relief and they both straightened up to hear what their queen had to say. “Now, intel is all well and good but in case they’re planning on an attack soon, I’d like to be prepared.”

Cas studied the map. “It looks like you have a pretty good set up here,” he said. Dean let a proud, little smile slip. “You might want to add a few more guards on the orc side. Jess, do you think you could sneak into their camp and see if they have any plans you could get your hands on?”

“Not a problem. I’ve done it before.”

“They might be expecting it, then. Maybe Andy should go with you-”

“I don’t need a damn wizard watching my back. No offence, Andy.” Andy just shrugged. “He’ll only slow me down.”

“Yeah, but if they’re growing it’s gonna be harder to sneak around,” Dean pointed out. “You could get Andy to cast amnesia spells on anyone you guys come across or something.”

“Besides,” Cas added, “if you’ve stolen plans before they may have a false set somewhere. That’s what I would do. You’re going to have to do a thorough search and that means having a look-out.”

“I could go,” Sam volunteered.

“No,” Charlie said. “Like you said, we’re going to need you to flirt with the princess to get information.”

“It’s not flirting!”

“Whatever. I think we have the makings of a pretty decent plan. I’m gonna order the pizza and we’ll hammer out the details.”

They went over the plans a while longer and when Gilda came home Charlie dragged her over to see about getting the elves to help. Gilda assured them it shouldn’t be a problem.

 

“That was a nice distraction,” Cas yawned on the way home.

“Yeah, well, that’s what family’s for.” Dean smiled softly as he glanced at his boyfriend. Cas grinned and took Dean’s right hand. He kissed his knuckles.

“Thank you.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand as he pulled into their driveway.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday morning Cas woke up with a sense of imminent dread. She could arrive at any minute. Dean was already at work. He had offered to take the day off, but Cas refused. He was going to go about his life as normal. He was not going to let her affect his routine. Although, seeing as he woke up before ten, she had already screwed things up for him.

He had no idea how much Anna had told her. He’d refused to talk to her since she warned him. It dawned on him that this may have been a mistake and that it was probably better to be prepared. He dialed her number.

“Castiel?” She answered, surprised.

Cas got right down to it. “What does she know?”

“Um, nothing. She asked how you were and I said ‘well,’ and then she went on and on about how much she missed you and asked if I had your address and I sort of just blurted it out. I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nothing that can be done about it now. Anything else?”

“Nope. I didn’t tell her about Dean or the divorce or anything. The last thing she’s heard is that Amelia left you and then you disappeared for a year. I mean, obviously she knows that we’ve heard from you since. At least that’s all I’ve told her. Unless you think Haley…”

“No, I haven’t spoken to Hael since I left Illinois. She was the one who told Mother what happened, remember? I learned my lesson.”

“What about Amelia?”

Castiel went cold. “I hadn’t thought about that. Do you think they talk?”

“Mother hasn’t said anything to me about it, but you know how she can be. If she wants information bad enough, she’ll get it.”

“Shit,” he breathed. “Well, if she does know about Dean then that’s one less surprise I have to drop on her. I have to admit, I’ll be a little disappointed if that’s the case.”

Anna laughed. “You’re terrible, Cas.”

He grinned. “So I’ve been told.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

“Shit. I think she’s here.”

“Good luck. Call if there’s anything I can do.”

“Oh, I think you’ve done enough.”

Another knock.

“Sorry again.”

“Don’t worry about it. Talk to you later.” He slid his phone into his pocket and answered the door.

“Hello, Castiel,” his mother smiled at him.

 

Dean was anxious all morning at work. He kept dropping tools and banging his head on the hoods of cars. Every five minutes he would check his phone to see if Cas had texted him.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Bobby asked as he picked up a socket wrench for Dean.

“Cas’ mom is supposed to be coming today. I guess it just finally hit me.”

“Worried about impressing the in-laws?”

“Something like that.”

“Oh,” Bobby raised his eyebrows. “She doesn’t approve of you two?”

“She doesn’t even know. But from what I hear, she’s not going to be happy.”

Bobby clapped a hand on his shoulder. “You know it doesn’t matter what she thinks, right? It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. If you two are happy, then that’s it. Don’t let anyone else take that from you.”

“I know. Thanks, Bobby.”

“Now get back to work. These cars ain’t gonna fix themselves.”

 

“So,” Cas’ mother said as she appraised his little house, “I assume Anael told you I was coming?”

“Yes,” he replied as he made his way to the kitchen. “ _Anna_ called and gave me a heads up that you weaseled my address out of her.”

She sighed. “Can’t we play nice, Castiel? I’ve neither seen nor spoken to you in years.”

“Of course, Mother. Would you like some tea?”

“That would be lovely.” She sat down at the table.

While he waited for the water to boil he shot Dean a quick message.

“Who are you texting?”

“I thought you wanted to play nice? Why not start by trying to mind your own business?” Cas realized there was no reason not to tell her about Dean except for the fact the he just really wanted to surprise her when he walked through the door. He turned to the whistling kettle and smiled to himself. Sometimes he could be a little cruel.

 

Dean’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he jumped, banging his head on yet another hood. He checked the text.

_Cas: She’s heeeere._

Dean chuckled to himself and sent a message back.

_Dean: Everything going okay?_

_Cas: So far. Can’t wait til you get home._

_Dean: I’ll see what I can do about getting off early_

Dean finished up what he was working on and then popped his head into Bobby’s office.

“Hey, Bobby?”

“Why don’t you take a half day today?”

“Uh, really?”

“Yeah, you’re head ain’t in the game, boy. Go on, get out of here before you fuck something up.”

Dean beamed. “Thanks Bobby.”

Bobby just shook his head. “Idjit.”

 

Cas smiled at his Dean’s last text and thought about responding with a lewd comment but changed his mind. He had more pressing matters.

“What made you decide to move to Kansas, of all places?” his mother asked.

“I needed a change of scenery.” He handed his mother her drink and sat in the chair across from her.

She nodded. “Have you spoken to Amelia?” It was either a trap or she hadn’t been speaking to his ex-wife herself.

“Yes. We got divorced about a year ago. I get Claire during the summers and every other holiday. And we Skype and talk on the phone often. Amelia has been very amenable.”

“That must be hard for her after what happened.”

“Hard for _her_?”

“Well, yes. After what she caught you doing.”

“I wasn’t doing anything harmful, Mother.”

“Nothing harmful? Castiel! You were watching,” she leaned across the table and whispered, “ _gay porn_!”

“I’m aware,” Cas said dryly. “It’s not like I was cheating on her.”

“You might as well have been! I can’t imagine what I would have done if I found out my husband was gay!”

Cas let his head drop back and he stared at the ceiling like he was praying it would come crashing down. He sat back up and looked at his mother. “I’m not gay.”

“Well then why were you watching _that_?”

He sighed. How far did he want to get into this with his mother? Did he really feel like explaining different sexualities to her? And that would probably lead to explaining different genders. This was not a discussion he wanted to have.

“I’m attracted to both men and women, Mother.”

“Well why can’t you just pick one?”

“Why should I have to do that?”

“Because it’s _normal_.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be normal.”

“Why wouldn’t you-” She was interrupted by the front door opening. “Who’s that?”

“Cas?” Dean called.

“In the kitchen!”

Cas stood up and smiled when his boyfriend walked in. He wrapped his arms around his neck and gave Dean a kiss. “How was work, babe?”

“Uh, it was fine.” He dropped his hands to Cas’ waist and took a step back. “This is your mom?”

Cas moved next to Dean and slid an arm around him. “Yes. This is my mother, Naomi. Mother, this is my boyfriend, Dean.”

Naomi paled and stood to shake Dean’s hand. “Pleased to meet you,” she said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go check into my hotel room.” She hurried for the door.

As soon as she was gone Dean took a step back. “What the hell, Cas?”

“What?”

“Were you just waiting for me to come home so you could make her uncomfortable?”

“She’s made me feel uncomfortable for most of my life, Dean. It was my turn.”

“That’s not you, Cas. Why don’t you try to be the better man?” He left the kitchen and headed toward the bathroom to take a shower. “Oh, and by the way, I don’t like to be used for your little games.”

Dean took a quick shower and shut himself in the bedroom to get dressed. The more he thought about what Cas pulled the more he started fuming. He’d spent the first half of the day worrying about being accepted by Cas’ mom and Cas threw that all out the window when he decided him to use him as a pawn in a game of who can make who more uncomfortable.

Cas knocked on the door and opened it slightly.

“Dean…”

“I’m still pretty pissed at you Cas, what do you want?”

Cas stood in the doorway. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Yeah, well, you did. That was a shitty thing you pulled back there. For me and your mom.”

“You just have to understand-”

“What I understand is that instead of even trying to make amends and being accepted for who you are you’re just trying to push her away so you never have to see her again. Is that right?”

Cas’ shoulders drooped. “More or less.”

“Look. I know we come from different situations. But my dad… I did everything he asked. I tried to be the person I thought he wanted me to be. And he always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Like I was always a disappointment. He was drunk all the time and I had Sammy staying at Ellen’s so that my dad’s drunken tirades wouldn’t keep him up all night when he had school the next day. I took a lot of shit from him, Cas. A lot. And, eventually, I just hated him. I couldn’t let it go. And then one day he died. And I never got to forgive him. And it kills me. To this day. I never thought I’d hate myself so much for not making amends. But I do. I don’t want that to happen with you and your mom.”

“Dean-”

“Call your mom and invite her to dinner.” He pointed a finger at Cas. “Apologize. Let her know the real you. The man I fell in love with. If she doesn’t accept you then, well, then at least you tried. And she can fuck right off.”

Cas nodded and walked away. Maybe Dean was right. He hadn’t seen his mother in years and he wasn’t giving her a chance. People change. Amelia had, somewhat. She no longer seemed disgusted when she talked to him and she was always pleasant when she dropped Claire off. He called his mother.

 

Surprisingly, Mrs. Milton agreed and Dean decided to make chicken picatta and asparagus for dinner. Cas went to his office while Dean cooked. He thought it best to stay out of his way. Dean agreed.

He didn’t want to be angry with Cas. He understood where he was coming from. But he felt like that wasn’t the Cas that he knew, and he felt used. He was still trying to make himself get over it when Sam joined him in the kitchen.

“Did she make it in yet?”

Dean turned from the stove. “Yeah, she was here.”

“Was? What happened?”

“As soon as I walked in from work Cas did his best to make her feel uncomfortable. Practically jumped me right there in the doorway.”

“Oh wow, how’d she take that?”

“She got the hell out of here.”

“So is that it? Is it over?”

“No. I made Cas call and apologize and she’s coming over for dinner.”

“You made him apologize?”

“The least he could do is give her a chance. Who knows, maybe she genuinely wants to reconnect with him.”

“You think?”

“I have no idea. I got to spend like five seconds with the woman. She was at least okay enough to shake my hand and say ‘pleased to meet you.’ That’s way more than I got when Amelia first met me.”

Sam nodded. “Well do you want me to stay or..?”

Dean just shrugged. “Whatever. If you have plans then go, but you don’t have to. She might feel less uncomfortable with someone else here. Maybe invite Jess?”

“Can’t. She’s working twelves for the next four nights.”

Dean nodded.

“So where is Cas?”

“Working, I think.”

“You think? Did you guys have a fight?”

“I might have snapped at him. I just didn’t like how he was treating his mom. Or me.”

“That’s good.”

“It’s good?”

“Well you guys, like, never fight. I was starting to get a little worried. I mean, you’ve been together for, what, a year and a half?”

“Almost.”

“It’s not normal for couples not to fight.”

“Who ever said we’re normal?”

“Good point.”

 

Sam popped his head into Cas’ office.

“Hey, Cas. How’s it going?”

Cas sighed and spun his chair around. “Alright, I suppose. Dean is mad at me.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, Dean does that sometimes. Don’t sweat it, he still loves you.”

“I know. I just… miscalculated his reaction. I thought he would think it would be funny to drive my mother off that way.”

Sam sighed and leaned against the door frame. “Dean doesn’t like to upset people he doesn’t know. He always gives people a chance, no matter what he’s heard about them, especially when they’re family. He’s had enough rumors spread about him to know what it’s like not to get the benefit of the doubt.”

“He feels like I used him.”

“You kinda did.”

Cas sat forward with his elbows on his knees and dropped his head. “How long do you think it’ll be before he forgives me?”

Sam laughed at that. “Man, if you go in there right now and apologize I bet he’ll forget everything. Dean knows more than anyone that people make mistakes.”’

He looked up at Sam and gave him a small smile. “Sometimes I forget what an amazing person he is.”

Sam nodded. “Don’t tell him I said this, but Dean is possibly the best example of what a person could be.” Then he slipped out of the room and into his own to change for dinner.

Cas decided he should try his best to get back on Dean’s good side before his mother showed up. He stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He found Dean swaying his hips in time with the music and singing along as he did up the dishes in the sink. Cas walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into Dean’s shoulder. Dean turned his head and smiled at him.

“I know. Forget it. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad.” He kissed Cas’ nose. “I’m sorry, too.”

“Do you need help with those dishes?”

“I’m almost finished, but you could dry.” Cas moved next to him and dried off the rinsed dishes. Dean was still swaying to the music and bumped his hip into Cas’ a couple times on purpose. They looked at each other and smiled fondly. Then Sam’s flash went off.

“Did you seriously just take a picture of us?” Dean scowled.

“You should see how cute you guys are. Seriously, it’s disgusting.”

Cas laughed as Dean grabbed his dish towel and threw it at Sam. Then there was a knock at the door. Sam and Dean both looked at Cas, whose shoulders dropped. He walked slowly to the door as Dean turned off the record player. Sam set the table.

“Hello, Mother,” Cas said as he opened the door.

“Castiel,” she said seriously.

Then Dean came to offer his hand again. “Mrs. Milton, I’m glad you came back.”

She shook his hand slightly and let herself be led to the kitchenette where Sam was sitting.

“This is my brother, Sam. He lives here with us, but just until he gets married this summer.” Sam stood and shook her hand.

“Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Milton.”

She forced a smile. “Please, call me Naomi. And congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Sam said as he sat back down. Cas sat across from Sam and Naomi sat between them. Dean brought over the platter of chicken and asparagus and sat across from Naomi.

“If you don’t mind,” Naomi said, “I’d like to say grace.”

“Oh,” said Dean. “Yeah, of course.”

“Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.”

“Amen,” they all mumbled after her.

“ _And_ ,” she continued, “please help my son, Castiel, see the sin in which he partakes.”

All three men’s eyebrows shot up and Cas made to stand, but Dean set a hand on his shoulder. Cas looked at him, exasperated, but Dean just shook his head.

“Help him, O Lord,” she went on, “and his lover to see the error of their ways so that they may repent and someday join you in Heaven. Amen.”

“Amen,” Dean mumbled with a smile. Sam gave him an incredulous look. Naomi raised her head and Dean nodded toward the food in the middle of the table.

“Please, ladies first.”

 

“So, Dean, what do you do?” Naomi asked once they had all filled their plates.

“I’m a mechanic for now, but I’m rebuilding my record shop so that’ll be done soon. I plan on splitting my time between them.”

“You wouldn’t want to give up your mechanic job for running a business?”

“Nah, I love working on cars. It would just be when they really needed the help, though. More like a hobby.”

“Mm. And you Sam?”

“I’m a lawyer.”

“Oh, isn’t that nice? And your fianceé?”

“She’s a nurse.”

“Oh, it’s a woman! How very good for you.”

“Mother,” Cas warned.

“What? I can’t be happy that there’s at least one normal person in your life?”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand on the table. “Mother, we are perfectly normal.”

“Well…” Dean cocked his head.

“You’re not helping,” Cas mumbled.

“Cas, to her it’s a sin. She’s not exactly going to jump for joy for us.”

“Dean, she basically told us we’re not normal and we’re going to Hell.”

“She’s sitting right here,” Naomi interrupted.

“I mean,” Dean replied, “you talked about us,  _in fr ont of us_, to God. I thought this would be okay.”

“I’m just trying to help.” She defended.

Dean opened his mouth to respond and then closed it again. Then he said, “You know what? Let’s table this discussion for now. Why don’t we just enjoy our dinner.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Sam said.

“This is very good, Dean. Did you make this?” Naomi inquired politely.

“I did, actually. Thank you.”

They ate in relative silence, Sam and Cas uncomfortably and Dean and Naomi as if they were preparing to go to war. The air was very tense. When everyone was finished Sam cleared the table.

“Coffee or tea for anyone?” he asked.

“Tea for me, please,” Cas responded.

“I think I’ll have a bourbon,” Dean said thoughtfully. “Naomi?”

“Just some tea, thank you.”

Dean got up from the table and retrieved the bottle of Pappy Van Winkle Cas got him for Christmas. Might as well have the good stuff. There was a good chance of him ruining either his relationship with Cas or Cas’ relationship with his mother. With any luck he’ll just make her realize that her bigotry is hurting her son. In any case, something was probably going to end tonight.

He brought the bottle back to the table while Sam was filling the mugs with tea. He gave his brother a look.

“Hey, Cas, did I show you, uh… I gotta show you this thing.” Sam nodded toward the doorway, indicating Cas should follow him.

 _Smooth_ , Dean thought.

“Well, Dean. We’re alone now. I suppose you wanted to talk to me?”

“Uh, yeah. See, the thing is-”

“The thing is that you want me to set aside my religious beliefs and accept that my son is going to Hell. I can’t do that. As his mother it is my duty to at least try to make him see the light and help him fight this.”

“He doesn’t want to fight it. He wants to be accepted. Look, I know Cas, and I know he was not looking forward to you coming here. What he did earlier, when I got home from work… that was a defense thing to try to get rid of you before you could start passing judgement and making him feel like shit. I convinced him to give you another chance. You really don’t want your son to hate you for the rest of your life, do you?”

“What I want is to help my son.”

“Naomi,” Dean said calmly, “what you can do to help is accept that your son is happy. He is an amazing man. He’s kind and caring and patient. He took me and Sam in when our home burned down. He’s helped me in ways that I can’t even begin to explain. And I’ve tried to be there for him, too. I love your son, and I don’t see how anyone can’t. He was so stressed about you coming and hating him. But you’re his mom. You don’t hate him, do you?”

“Of course not!”

“And aren’t you happy that he’s happy?”

“I…”

“He’s successful and he’s got people who love him. He’s got a family, whether you like it or not, and he’s not going to change for you. He’s all grown up now. Either you accept him for who he is, or you lose him.”

Naomi thought for a moment and then said, “I can’t. I can’t accept what he is. It goes against everything I believe in.”

“You’ve never questioned your beliefs?”

“Not once.”

Dean shrugged. “Then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You could help me.”

“Help you?”

“Leave him. Make him rethink his decisions. Make him hate men.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Not at all. What would it take?”

“It would take you killing me because that’s not going to happen. Me and Cas, we’re good for each other. I love him, and he loves me. I know you don’t know me but I don’t just go around telling people I love them. Hell, this conversation is probably the most I’ve used the word outside of talking to Cas.”

“You don’t care that you’re condemning him to Hell? You love him so much but you would do that to him.”

“I don’t care for your God. If loving another man is going to send Cas to Hell then I’ll be right there with him.”

“His name is Castiel! He’s named after an angel! He doesn’t deserve this!”

“He doesn’t deserve what? To be happy? To be loved?”

“He was happy and loved! With Amelia! Your kind took that away from him!”

“ _My kind_?”

Cas appeared in the doorway as Naomi stood. He wanted to say something but his mind went blank.

“This isn’t over,” Naomi growled. As she walked past Cas she grabbed his arm. “Come along, Castiel. I know a place that can fix you. I’ve already made an appointment.”

Cas pulled his arm away, incredulously. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m staying here. With the man I love. With the family who accepts me for exactly who I am. I haven’t needed you for over thirty years, I certainly don’t need you now.”

“Castiel!”

“Get out of my house,” he growled.

She turned back to glare at Dean. “This isn’t over,” she repeated. Sam showed her the door.

“Fuck!” Dean yelled and kicked his chair. “I’m sorry, Cas.”

Cas gave him a sad smile and walked over to him, settling his hands on Dean’s waist. “I tried to tell you.”

“I know. Now I’ve gone and made things worse.”

“Nah, they’re not really worse. Just… more out in the open.” He leaned forward and wrapped his boyfriend in a hug.

Sam came wandering back into the kitchen. “What the hell, Dean?”

“I thought that if I could just make her see that he was happy…”

Cas stepped back and laid a hand on the side of Dean’s face. “She doesn’t want me to be happy. She wants me to be saved.”

“I’m sorry, Cas,” Sam said sympathetically.

“It’s fine. I meant what I said. I never needed her. Maybe I thought I did once, but that was a long time ago. I’ve got a new family now.”

  
****

 

Dean couldn’t sleep. He just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Unfortunately, Cas could feel how tense he was and couldn’t fall asleep either. He tightened his hold on the man next to him.

“What’s wrong?” Cas asked.

“I ruined everything for you, Cas. I’m so sorry.”

“It was already ruined. You didn’t do anything.”

“I just wanted her to see how amazing you are. Show her that you didn’t need to change.”

Cas sighed and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Dean. “That’s not what her problem is, babe.”

“I know,” Dean growled. “It’s the religion thing.”

Cas huffed a laugh and dropped down to give Dean a kiss. “Yeah, the religion thing.”

“I never even asked you if you’re religious, Cas.”

“I have my own beliefs. They’re not the same as my mother’s. But I do believe in God.”

“Do you think we’re going to Hell?”

“I think He is indifferent to sexual preference. I think what matters is what kind of person you are.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Cas shook his head and laid back down. “No, I don’t think we’re going to Hell.” He turned Dean’s face toward him and kissed him again, more deeply. “You’re a good person, Dean.”

Dean grunted noncommittally, unbelievingly. Castiel sighed.

“I don’t know why you think you’re such a terrible person, Dean. You’re the best man I know.”

Dean wanted to believe it, he really did. Cas had known him for almost a year and a half, surely there was some truth to what he said. But Dean wasn’t always the person he is now, and he just drove off Cas’ mother in an attempt to gain her good graces. And everyone knows what they say about good intentions.


	3. Chapter 3

Tuesday was uneventful. Dean and Sam went to work, Cas stayed home, trying to work on a new book and enjoying the peace and quiet. They didn’t hear from Naomi. Dean figured maybe they ran her off for good. Cas said that if that were the case he’d be more than grateful to Dean. They assumed that she went back home to Illinois. And, of course, there was Dean’s weekly lunch with Charlie.

“So, how’d it go?”

“Terrible,” Dean pouted.

“What happened?”

Dean told her about the previous day’s events. “It’s just so fucked up, Charlie.”

“You’re telling me. Religion can make people wacky sometimes.”

“Yeah, but I -”

“Oh please don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself for this. I can only handle so much self-loathing from you before I want to punch you in the face. Cas loves you. Hell, we all do. And I’m sure he doesn’t blame you. Does he?”

“No.”

“Well then stop blaming yourself. It’s her that’s the problem, not either of you. I say good riddance.”

“Thanks, Charlie.” Dean stood to leave. “Ready for that royal orc ass kicking this weekend?”

“More than ever.”

Wednesday started like any other. Dean got up at 6:30 for work and kissed Cas on the forehead as he quietly slipped out of bed. He made his way to the kitchen and started up the coffee maker before feeding Thalia and heading out to get the paper for Castiel. He was always slightly less grumpy when the paper was waiting for him and, even though Dean wouldn’t be there to see it, he liked to keep Cas’ grump to a minimum.

He tossed the paper onto the table in the kitchen and poured himself a large mug of coffee and pouring more into the travel mug Cas had gotten him for his birthday a little over a year ago. He poured the rest into another thermos and set it in the microwave so it didn’t get cold too fast. He didn’t leave it in the pot because he knew that both burnt and cold coffee tasted like ass. Unless it was iced coffee. That was different for some reason.

He downed what was in his mug and rinsed it out, leaving it in the sink. Then he grabbed his lunch, which he’d prepared the night before, and headed out for work.

 

Castiel rolled out of bed around nine. This waking up early was beginning to become habitual, and he wasn’t sure he was too happy about it. He shuffled out to the kitchen and opened the microwave for his coffee. It was still a little warm, but not warm enough, so he poured it into Dean’s mug, which was sitting in the sink, and popped it back in the microwave. He let it heat for a minute while Thalia rubbed against his legs, purring. He looked down at her and sighed. He retrieved some cat treats from a pouch in one of the cupboards and dropped a few on the floor for her.

The microwave beeped, letting him know his coffee was hot, and he glared at it. He poured the mug out and added a spoonful of sugar and filled it to the top with milk. He had to take a couple sips from it before it was low enough to transport over to the table without spilling. He sat down and opened up the newspaper, sighing contentedly.

 

Dean was eating lunch on the hood of his car in the employee parking lot behind Bobby’s shop when he was approached by two men.

“Are you Dean?” the smaller one asked. He had a slim build and a shock of dark hair, like Cas, but he carried himself differently. More arrogance, maybe. And he had a sinister smile.

“Depends on who’s asking,” Dean replied, sliding off of the Impala.

“Cute,” said the other one. Larger, dark skin. Similar smile to the first.

“Look, fellas,” Dean put his hands up. “I don’t know you. I have no idea why you’re here, but if you’re looking for trouble, you’re looking in the wrong place.”

“Good,” said the first guy. “This’ll be much easier if you don’t put up a fight.”

 

Cas was in Claire’s room, writing, since his desk was still in there, when he heard someone break in through the front door. He stood and quietly made his way toward the front of the house. He may look unassuming, but he could certainly hold his own in a fight if need be. And apparently some burglar had thought no one was home. He would have the element of surprise.

When he reached the end of the hall and turned to face the intruder the surprise turned out to be on him.

“Lucifer?”

 

Bobby was in his office when he heard a ruckus in the parking lot behind the shop. He grabbed his shotgun and headed out the back door. He heard the unmistakable sound of sneakers on asphalt, running away.

“Hey!” he shouted. Surprisingly, the troublemakers didn’t stop or turn around. He looked around the lot and found Dean crumpled into a heap against the side of the Impala.

“Balls!” Bobby ran over to him. Dean was unconscious. A few feet away he noticed Dean’s cell phone, smashed, on the pavement. That got his brain going and he ran inside to call 911, grabbing Ash on the way and telling him to keep an eye on Dean.

Once he got off the phone with the dispatcher he wasn’t sure if he should call Sam or Cas first. He dialed Sam since he didn’t have to look up the number. He figured he could get Sam to call Cas on his way to the hospital.

 

When Sam got the call from Bobby that Dean was headed to the hospital he dropped everything and told his employers that he had to go. It was an emergency. He didn’t wait around for a response.

As he slid into the driver’s seat of his truck he dialed Cas to let him know what was going on and to see if he wanted a ride. It would be understandable if Cas was too shook up to drive. Sam was very near that state as it was.

But Cas wasn’t picking up and that seemed odd. Cas hadn’t had trouble answering the phone in almost a year. So he decided to run home first and make sure everything was alright. If Dean was headed to the hospital there would be nothing he could do immediately, anyway.

When he got home he almost didn’t notice that the door was cracked open, except that Thalia had rubbed against his leg as soon as he slid out of his truck. He scooped up the cat and rushed into the house.

It was a mess. Debris was strewn about from the living room to Dean and Cas’ room. Their door had been broken down and more things were broken and out of place inside. Cas was nowhere in sight. Sam called the police. He explained to Jody that he couldn’t just wait around for them to arrive. Dean was in the hospital. He needed to see for himself that he was alright. Jody asked him to wait until she got there. It was the longest five minutes Sam had ever experienced.

 

When Dean awoke the first thing he tried to do was sit up. A sharp pain in his side and Sam’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. He blinked up at his brother.

“What happened?”

“Found you out back behind the shop,” Bobby said from the other side of the bed. “You were in bad shape. Got a broken rib or two, a concussion, and lots of bruises.”

“Damn.”

“Do you know who did this, Dean?” Sam asked. Dean shook his head.

“Two guys just jumped me.” He looked around the room. “Where’s Cas?”

Sam and Bobby looked at each other.

“Guys? Where’s Cas? What happened?”

“Dean…”

“What happened, Sam?”

“He’s missing.”

“What do you mean ‘missing’?”

“I mean, someone broke into the house, it looks like there was a fight, and now we can’t find him anywhere.”

Dean pushed himself up, despite the pain and Sam and Bobby’s protests, and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“Where you goin’, boy?” Bobby asked.

“I’m going to find my goddamned boyfriend.”

“Dean, we don’t even know where to start. I called Jody, she’s on it.”

“Don’t know where to start? Uh, his mom maybe?”

“There’s no way she could have done that, Dean. I’m pretty sure Cas could take her.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Where’s my phone?”

“It’s gone,” Bobby said. “Whoever jumped you busted it.”

“Fuck. Sammy, you got Gabe’s number?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

“Call him. See if he can find anything out.” Dean stood up.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked.

“I’m gonna go take a piss, get dressed, and go talk Jody. That okay with you?”

It wasn’t, but Sam knew better than to argue.

 

Gabriel picked up on the first ring.

“Sam? What happened?”

“How did you-”

“We don’t exactly talk a whole lot. _Did_ something happen?”

“Yeah. Um. Dean got jumped and ended up in the hospital.”

“Okay… I’m sorry to hear that but I don’t see-”

“About the same time that happened somebody broke into our house and now Cas is missing.”

There was a pause and then Gabe said, “Hold on a minute.”

Sam waited through the muffled voices coming through the other end of the phone. At one point Gabriel’s voice got louder, though still unintelligible. Then he came back on the line.

“I’m gonna be on the first plane out there. Is my mother still in town?”

“I don’t know…”

“Find her if she is. She knows something about this. I have no doubt.”

 

Dean walked into Jody’s office and gently lowered himself into the chair across from her desk. Sam followed behind, leaning in the doorway.

“Dean? What are you doing here?”

“I checked myself out. Have you found Cas yet?”

“Don’t you think I would have called you if we had?”

“Did you find his mom?”

“What?”

“His mom came into town on Monday. She got pissed at him for being in a relationship with another man and said that she had made an appointment for him somewhere but he refused to go with her. She got pissed and left. She was staying in a hotel in town but I don’t know which one. She’s got something to do with this.”

“Do you know her name?”

“Naomi.”

“Naomi Milton?”

Dean shrugged and instantly regretted it as pain shot through his side. He didn’t know if that was her last name or not.

“I’ll call around to all the hotels.” She pointed a finger at him. “You go get some rest. I’ll let you know if we find anything.”

“No, Jody-”

“Don’t make me call Ellen.”

Dean sighed. “Fine. But you call me-”

“As soon as I know anything. I promise. Go take care of yourself, okay? Cas is going to need you to be alright when we find him.”

“Right.”

“Sam?” Jody called after them. He turned to look at her. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Sam just gave her a look that said, “I’ll do what I can.”

 

Sam pulled the Impala into the driveway. The police had left a while ago. It looked like they left the place more of a mess than Sam had found it. Dean stepped over everything and made his way to the bedroom. He turned on the light and noticed a small stain on the carpet. When he realized what it was he dropped to his knees. He barely registered the pain. Sam was there in an instant.

“Dean?”

“That’s blood, Sammy,” Dean said weakly. He gestured to the softball sized spot on the floor and looked up at his brother. “Sam, they…” he began, brokenly. Rage, fear, and desperation were at war with each other inside him. Sam dropped down and wrapped his arms around his brother before pulling him up to standing, away from the stain on the floor. Dean clung to him.

“Sammy,” he whispered.

“It’s okay, Dean. He’s okay. They’ll find him. _We’ll_ find him. He’s going to be just fine.” He sat his brother down onto the bed.

“What if he’s not?”

“He is. Cas is strong. He’ll be okay. We’ll find him.” Sam tried hard to make Dean believe him. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to him if he was wrong. Or what would happen to the people who hurt Cas.

Sam pulled an orange bottle from his pocket. “Take a couple of these and take a nap, Dean. I’ll wake you up if we hear anything. You need to rest.”

Dean blindly took a couple of the pills his brother handed him and swallowed them down. All he could think about was Cas’ blood on the floor. It was still on his mind when he drifted off to sleep.

 

When he woke up a few hours later it was still dark out. He slid out of bed, careful not to step on the stain on the floor, and made his way out to the kitchen. He needed to eat something. He would need his strength to find Cas. He barely noticed the the place had been cleaned.

Charlie was sitting at the table with Gilda when he walked in. They were talking softly over cups of tea.

“Dean!” Charlie stood up and ran to his side when she saw him wobble into the room in his boxers. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

“Where’s Sam?” he asked as he peered into the refrigerator.

“He went to pick up Cas’ brother from the airport.”

He tried to take a deep breath. “Any news?” He shut the fridge door without finding anything.

“Not yet, but it’s only been a few hours.”

Dean leaned back against the counter and clenched his jaw, trying his hardest not to cry. He was hurt and worried and tired and slightly drugged. He failed. Charlie wrapped her arms around him tenderly and he put his face in her hair. She held him until he stopped shaking.

“Why don’t you go lay back down and we’ll make you something to eat?” Gilda suggested.

Dean shook his head. “I’m gonna watch tv until Jody calls. Or until Gabe gets here. Or both.” He trudged back out to the living room and curled up on the couch, turning on the television and wrapping himself up in a blanket.

He stared blankly at the television but had no idea what was on. He whispered a thank you to the girls when they brought him a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee.

“Grilled cheese was the first thing Cas ever made me,” he mumbled absently. Charlie sat next to him and rubbed his back. “We didn’t even get to eat it,” he said through a watery smile.

“Do you want me to make you something else?” Gilda asked kindly.

“No,” he whispered. He looked up at her and tried to give her a smile. “This is great, thanks.” He sat there, holding the plate in his lap. He knew he should eat, wanted to, but he couldn’t make his body go through the motions. So he just sat there, staring off into space and trying not to think about all the horrible things that Cas could be going through.

Maybe it wasn’t anything terrible at all. Maybe they just took him home. Sure, they’d have to lock him in a room or something. No way Cas would just stay with them. Would he? What if this was all just an elaborate plan to get Cas away from Dean? What if Cas didn’t want to be with him anymore but didn’t know how to tell him so he planned a fake kidnapping?

No. Cas was happy with Dean. Wasn’t he?

Charlie’s phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered. “Yeah, just a sec.” She handed the phone to Dean. “It’s Jody.”

“Jody?” he said as he put the phone to his ear.

“We found the hotel she was in but she checked out this morning,” Jody said. “We notified highway patrol. They’re keeping an eye out.”

“They hurt him, Jody,” he whispered.

She sighed. “I know, sweetie. It looked like maybe he hit his head on the nightstand. I’m still sure he’s fine. We’ll find him, Dean.”

Dean nodded, although she couldn’t see it. “Is there anything I can do?”

“You just work on getting better,” she told him. “We’ll find your man and bring him home safe and sound.”

He sighed and hung up the phone, handing it back to Charlie. She raised her eyebrows at him as he shook his head. Charlie started to pet the back of his head. He leaned over, laying his head on her shoulder, and stared straight ahead, tears leaking out his eyes. Finally he spoke up.

“I hate this waiting,” he gasped.

“I know,” whispered Charlie.

“If I just knew where he was…”

“I know,” she repeated.

The front door opened and Sam and Gabriel walked in. Dean sat up and looked at them hopefully, wanting any news.

“I talked to Anna,” Gabriel said. “Mother hasn’t talked to her but she’s going to call Haley to see if she knows anything.”

Dean nodded. Gabe sat on the coffee table across from him.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you know who did this to you?”

Dean shook his head. “I’d never seen them before.”

“What did they look like?”

Dean raised an eyebrow and described his attackers. “One was a white guy. Dark hair, green eyes, shorter than me. The other one was a big black guy. Bald.” He shrugged. “I didn’t really get to study them while they were kicking my ass.”

“Sounds like Michael and his butt buddy, Uriel. They probably wanted enough time to get out of town. Beating your ass was their best bet.”

“Your mom said something about making an appointment for Cas. Something about making him not gay, I think?”

Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. “No,” he mumbled to himself. “That fucking bitch. She wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?” Sam asked.

“My uncle has a conversion therapy camp out in Idaho. He claims it’s one of those ‘pray the gay away’ type places, but he’s a sadistic bastard. Who knows what goes on in there.”

“You think that’s where Cas is?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, but I hope to hell he’s not.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful comments. They really mean a lot to me and I think the comments on the last chapter were my favorite yet. (I know, I know. I didn't respond to any of them. I'm terrible.) Now I'm just nervous and hopeful that I've lived up to all of your expectations.  
> As you might have guessed, this chapter gets a little dark and there is some torture. You have been warned.  
> Once again, thank you for all of the comments and kudos. They really keep me going and make me love writing even more. You guys are the best.
> 
> Update: It's been brought to my attention that what happens to Cas in this chapter could be viewed as rape. Please proceed accordingly.

When Cas finally woke up he was laying on a small, hard bed in a small, grey room. He barely remembered the drive there, wherever there was. He did remember his brother attacking him, shutting himself in his room, and then Raphael breaking the door down. He remembered calling Dean but there was no answer. Then someone knocked the phone from his hand. He remembered trying to fight them off and getting shoved into the nightstand. He raised a hand to his head. It was tender and his hair was matted. He must have hit it. He also remembered, fuzzily, being led to rest stop restrooms and his mother trying to feed him broth. And Lucifer sticking him with a needle. He scratched at the inside of his arm. Where the hell did they bring him?

Then he heard footsteps coming down the hall and an all too familiar voice mixing with that of his mother’s. Fear gripped his heart. There was the jingle of keys and the door opened. His mother stepped in first, followed by her brother, Zachariah. He looked at the former, wide-eyed.

“No,” he breathed. “Mother, why?”

“It’s for your own good, Castiel. I just want you to get better.”

“I’m not sick! Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“You just don’t realize how sick you are, Castiel,” Zachariah said. “Once we show you you can start to get better.” He smiled.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” Naomi said. She turned to her brother. “Thank you for getting him in on such short notice.”

“Not to worry, my dear,” he sneered. “I’ve been saving a room for him ever since you told me about his affliction.” They left and locked the door behind them.

Castiel looked around his room. The walls were blank and rough and there was a tiny, barred window high above the head of his bed. The door was steel and locked from the outside. He barely had time to think before a young woman brought him some food.

“Hi,” she smiled kindly at him. “My name is Hester.”

He just looked at her as she sat the plate down next to him on the bed.

She kept smiling at him. “I understand if you don’t want to talk right now,” she said sweetly. “I’ll be back for the plate in a little bit.” And with that she was gone.

Castiel didn’t want to eat anything they brought him but this stomach growled angrily. As far as he could remember he hadn’t eaten anything substantial since he’d been taken from his home. He thought about Dean and wondered if he was alright, if they had done something to him. Dean always answered the phone when he called, no matter how busy he was. As much as he hated his family, he had to admit they were cunning. There was a very good chance they would have done something to Dean to keep him from coming after Cas. If they did their job well enough Cas wondered if Dean would even bother looking for him. He probably wasn’t worth the trouble.

He ate the bread on his plate and pushed the meat around. He’d had enough to quiet his stomach and that was all he would eat. He had no idea what his uncle’s methods were but he wouldn’t put it past him to put something in his food. He’d been drugged enough on the way up here, he wasn’t going to take his chances.

Hester came back for the plate a little while later and again didn’t push him to talk. He wondered if this was part of the “treatment.” To have kind, pretty girls be nice to them to make them seem more attractive to men who were “sick.”

As she left a man entered. She gave Cas a sympathetic smile.

“My name is Thaddeus,” he said. “I need you to come with me.”

“And if I don’t?” Cas asked.

Thaddeus waved a baton at him. “Then I will drag you.”

Cas sighed and followed the young man to a shower.

“Strip,” Thaddeus commanded. Cas did as he was told and stepped under the showerhead. The water that sprayed down on him was freezing and he washed as quickly as possible. When he stepped out his clothes were missing.

“Where are my clothes?” His teeth chattered.

“Follow me,” Thaddeus responded.

“Give me my clothes first!”

Thaddeus swung the baton hard and hit Cas on the shoulder. “Next one’ll be your head. Follow me.”

Cas followed him to another small room. It was grey like his but there was a metal chair with leather straps for his wrists and ankles and across from it was a television on a cart.

Cas sighed and did as he was told. “What is this? You’re going to make me watch straight porn until I get it through my head that men aren’t to lie together?”

Thaddeus buckled the straps across Cas’ limbs and smiled. “Something like that.” He left the room and Cas was strapped to the chair, alone and naked, for almost five minutes. Then he heard the door behind him open.

“Hello Castiel,” his uncle said cheerfully. “I’m surprised with how easily you’ve gone along with everything so far, save for a couple minor incidents. Maybe deep down you know just how sick you really are.”

“I’ve only gone along with it because I know you will never change me. I am in love with another man and you can never take that from me.”

“Yes, your mother told me about him. Dean, is it? I heard he met up with one of your brothers and his lackey. I wonder if he still thinks you’re worth all the trouble.”

Castiel pulled at his restraints. “What did they do to him?”

“Oh, not to worry, Castiel. He’s alive. For now.” He opened a small leather case and pulled out a syringe.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe.” He grabbed one of Cas’ hands and turned it, palm up. He held it steady as Castiel tried to pull away and plunged the needle into the inside of his elbow. “Now, why don’t we watch a little movie?”

Zachariah turned the television on and pressed play on the dvd player. Without preamble the screen showed two men having sex.

“I don’t understand. How is this supposed to-” Just then Castiel’s stomach tightened painfully. He gasped. “What have you given me?”

Zachariah just smiled at him. His stomach turned and cramped. He turned his head to the side and began vomiting all of the bread he had eaten earlier. The video and the pain seemed to go on forever and by the time it was finally over Castiel was exhausted from dry heaving. He was cold and sweaty and he felt very pale.

Afterward he was half-dragged back to the showers by Thaddeus. He was shoved under the cold spray until all the vomit had washed off of him and then pulled back to his room, dripping and still unclothed. He lay down on his bed, shivering from the cold and being sick, and pulled the thin, scratchy blanket over himself. He tried to think of things he loved. Dean, Claire, the rest of his found family, summer sunshine and records and old books. He tried to fall asleep with a smile on his face, but instead drifted off sobbing.

Later Hester came back in and woke him gently. She brought more food and Castiel was famished, but he was unsure if he should eat again. If he was going to be subject to the same torture would it be easier on him if he had nothing to throw up?

Hester sat down next to him on the bed and started to pet the back of his head. He jerked away from her touch. “They won’t do that to you again today, Castiel,” she said, as though she felt sorry for him.

“I have no reason to believe you,” he said wearily.

“I know you don’t,” she replied. “But you need your strength. They’re going to put you through much more and you need to eat so you can survive the cure.”

He picked up the tray of food and flung it at the wall. “I don’t need to be cured! I’m not sick! My life isn’t unhealthy! In fact, it’s the most healthy it’s been… ever!”

Hester seemed unfazed. She sighed and picked up the tray and dishes, leaving the food on the floor and stuck to the wall. “I can’t bring you any more,” she said sadly. “If you get hungry you’ll have to eat it off of the floor or wait until morning. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry,” he growled. “You’re playing a part. I’m not an idiot. I see what’s going on here. When I get out of here I’ll come back. And I’ll be bringing the police with me.”

She smiled at him. _Smiled_. He couldn’t believe it. “That’s what they all say on the first day, but you’ll see. They’ll help you see how sick you are and they’ll cure you. You’ll thank them when you leave.”

“Get the fuck out of my room.”

“You see,” she said sweetly as she opened the door. “You’re already thinking of it as your room.” She closed the door softly behind her.

He sat on the edge of the bed and watched the food slide down the wall to the floor. He didn’t even know what it was, he hadn’t taken the time to inspect it. It looked like some kind of meat in gravy, and mashed potatoes, maybe. He sighed and slumped forward, his elbows on his knees, and hung his head. He missed Dean terribly. He hoped he was alright. Zachariah had said that Michael and one of his lackeys had attacked him. He assumed he meant Uriel. If that were the case Dean may very well be in the hospital for a while. Did he even know he was missing? Would he ever know? Or had Michael beaten him so badly that he may never wake up? Maybe they had taken Dean somewhere. Maybe he was there in the compound with him. His mind was frantic with possibilities until he had a thought that made his insides freeze. Maybe Dean hadn’t survived his encounter with Michael and Raphael at all. Maybe Zachariah lied.

His eyes welled up with tears and he started gasping for air. He needed to get out of there. Never in his life had he felt a stronger need to get home.

 

The next morning when Hester brought him his breakfast he ate every bit. She beamed and praised him. When Thaddeus came to take him to the showers and the “treatment room” he followed easily. He sat down and didn’t fight when he was bound to the chair. While he waited for Zachariah he tried to steel himself and prepare for another hour of vomiting. He heard the door click open behind him.

“Hester and Thaddeus tell me that you’ve been very cooperative this morning, Castiel.”

“I just want to be cured so I can go on with my life,” he responded flatly.

“Well that’s definitely a start, but it’s not that easy. I need for you to see just how wrong your relationships with men really were.”

“I understand.” Cas turned his hand over on the arm of the chair, but Zachariah laughed.

“No, no. We won’t be doing that today,” he said. He wheeled a machine out from behind the television. From it he pulled two cords, each with three wires coming out of the end. He smiled at Castiel as he took one of his hands and unfolded the fingers so he could wrap the wires around the three middle ones.

“What are you doing?” Cas tried to pull his fingers back.

“Not to worry, my boy. This is all part of the cure.”

Cas pulled and tugged but it was no use. In no time at all Zachariah had wires wrapped around fingers on both hands. He shoved a mouth guard into Cas’ mouth and then started up the television. When the two men approached each other Zachariah turned a dial on the machine. Pain shot through Cas’ body. He bit down on the rubber as his muscles constricted. After a moment Zachariah turned the current off.

“Still so eager to be cured, Castiel?”

Cas clenched his teeth into the guard and swallowed. He had to get through this. He needed to find out what happened with Dean. Taking a deep breath through his nose, he nodded. Zachariah turned the dial again. He was pretty sure it lasted longer this time, but it was impossible to try to keep track. When Zachariah turned it off he slumped in the chair a little.

“Still want to keep going?”

Cas nodded, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

Castiel was on his bed, curled up against the corner of the wall, trembling and wrapped in his blanket when Hester came in with his dinner.

“You poor thing,” she said with pity. “Would you like me to feed this to you? I know you must still be hurting.”

He looked at her and started to cry. She pulled him into a comforting embrace, shushing him and rubbing his back. “Come on now,” she said softly, “you need to eat.”

He let her feed him. He felt humiliated but he didn’t want to be left alone. When he was finished she held him until he fell asleep.

 

He awoke the next day before she came in. He felt more withdrawn than he had in a long time. Part of it was the treatment and part of it was the fact that he hadn’t had his anxiety medication in days. He was starting to revert to the socially anxious, severely introverted person he was years ago, when he could barely leave his house. He smiled at her when she came in with his breakfast. She was always pleasant and kind to him. The only friendly face he had in this horrible place. She sat with him while he ate and talked to him about mundane things like the weather and her family. She had become a welcome calm before the storm.

Once again he followed Thaddeus without incident to the showers and the treatment room. Zachariah was whistling when he came into the room.

“I’m going to unbind your hands, Castiel. Can I trust you?”

Cas nodded.

“Good,” Zachariah smiled. He released the buckles around Cas’ wrists and grabbed his leather case. He pulled out a syringe and Cas tuned his arm over for him. He was glad it was poison instead of electroshock today. He wondered how long he would have to go through these treatments before they were convinced that he was cured.

Zachariah injected him with whatever was in the syringe and turned on the television, This time it displayed a heterosexual porn. A warm, blissful feeling overcame his body. Cas let himself melt into it.

“I want you to enjoy yourself, Castiel,” said Zachariah. “Succumb to the pleasure. Masturbate to the lovely couples on the television.”

Cas gave him a watery smile and nodded. He reached down into his lap and began stroking himself slowly. The more aroused he became the more he realized that his thoughts drifted to Dean. He tried to make a conscious effort not to let his true thoughts be known as he neared his climax. If he mentioned Dean or let slip any indication that he wasn’t being “cured,” he may never get out of that place. He tried to focus on the couples on the television. He came with a gasp.

“Good,” his uncle praised. “Why don’t you keep watching this until that happy feeling starts to fade. Feel free to pleasure yourself as often as you feel necessary.”

Zachariah kept him drugged and blissed out for three hours, supplying lubricant when he asked for it and praising his good work. When it was over Zachariah himself walked him to a different set of showers that sprayed warm water and gave him a change of clothes when he was toweled off. Then he walked him back to his room.

“You know,” he said, “it really doesn’t surprise me that you were so easily cured. You grew up in a good home, Castiel. You were just led astray when your wife left you. It could happen to almost anyone, I’m sure. If everything goes well tonight you should be able to go home tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Castiel smiled. As long as he does what’s expected of him that night he will be free to go home to Dean in the morning. He couldn’t hide his smile.

 

Hester brought his dinner in to him and brought one for herself. They ate in companionable silence and when they were finished Hester sat the trays on the floor and scooted closer to Castiel. Too close. It finally hit him what the last “treatment” was. They expected him to have sex with this girl. He was torn. He wanted to get home desperately, but he didn’t want to cheat on Dean to do it. But if he showed too much hesitation they would know he was faking it and he may have to go through everything again. Or maybe worse. Could Dean forgive him for this? Could he forgive himself? But he had to get out of there. He had to get free. If Dean didn’t want him, he could understand and move on. If Dean was even still alive and conscious.

He tilted his head toward Hester and leaned in for the kiss. She did her part perfectly, as if she had done this a hundred time before. She probably had. Interesting that the ministry was fine with whores as long as they were helping to “cure” the gays.

He was still sore from his earlier “treatment,” a little too overzealous in trying to convince Zachariah that he had miraculously become straight practically overnight. But, he decided, a little chafing was a small price to pay for his ticket out of there, and paled in comparison to the other things he’d been subject to. He laid Hester down and made love to her with the condom she offered. It was mediocre. It wasn’t Dean. He felt incredibly guilty when it was over but tried not to show it. He fell asleep next to her.

When he woke up the next morning she was gone. He couldn’t blame her. The bed was incredibly uncomfortable. He would be glad to get back to his and Dean’s bed soon. He was going to sleep for a week.

Hester brought him his breakfast, no more or less pleasant than she alway was, as if nothing had happened. But that was how it was when you had meaningless sex with someone. Thaddeus showed up and took him to the good showers, giving him another change of clothes when he was finished. Then he was led back to the treatment room. He sat in the chair, slightly confused. He thought for sure Hester was the last of his trials. Thaddeus strapped him down as usual and left the room.

“Well!” Zachariah exclaimed when he came in. “It seems you passed with flying colors. I have to say, Castiel, I was surprised. I thought maybe you were playing us there for a while.”

Castiel tried to smile. “I see now how much better it is to be heterosexual is than homosexual,” he lied.

“Good. Just a couple more things and you’ll be ready to go. Your mother is already here, waiting to take you home.”

“My mother?”

“That’s right. You didn’t think we were going to let you go back to Dean, did you?”

Castiel’s mouth worked but no sound would come out.

“You see,” Zachariah continued, “I’m still not convinced that you’re cured, but Naomi is just so eager to get you home. And, well, when I told her about your progress, she insisted. But I want to take a few precautions before you leave.”

“What precautions?”

Zachariah smiled and pulled out another syringe. He plunged it into Cas’ vein and soon everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, work has been kicking my ass. I didn't put as much time into this chapter as i would have liked this week so if there are any glaring mistakes or anything feel free to let me know. Thanks for your patience!
> 
> Also, it's not misery forever. Stick with me, folks.

When Cas woke up he felt fuzzy. His mouth was dry and his head felt too light. He was so distracted by these things that it took a moment for him to register the pain radiating from below his waist. When it hit him he shivered and groaned. He reached down to grab at his hip and felt plaster instead. The sight that met him when he pulled the blanket back filled him with a hollow despair. A cast covered him from his belly all the way down to his left ankle and his right knee. They had broken his hip to deter him from running.

“Fuck,” he groaned. He looked around his old room. Not much had changed since he left for college a million years ago except for the wheelchair that was folded up next to his bed. Too bad he was on the second floor. A wheelchair wasn’t going to aid in any sort of escape.

He scooted himself to the edge of the bed and pushed himself into a sitting position, grateful that the cast had a bend in the knee. He sighed and ran his hands over his face.

“Mother!” he yelled. A few seconds later he came trotting into his room.

“Oh, Castiel! You’re awake!”

“I want to go home.”

She smiled and cocked her head. “But you are home.”

“I want to go home to Dean. Now.”

“But Zachariah said-”

“I faked it. I just wanted to get out of there and _go home_.”

Naomi nodded. “Zachariah said he needed to take extra precautions in case the treatment didn’t take. I thought he had gone too far, but now I see that he was right.” She sighed. “I’m going to make you some lunch. Would you like me to get Lucifer or Michael to help you to the little boy’s room?”

“I’ll manage,” he growled.

“Alright.” She unfolded the wheelchair for him. “I’ll be back shortly.” She walked out of the room and left the door open. He could hear her heels clicking down the stairs and he hated her.

He glared at the wheelchair, trying to decide if he should even bother or if he should just piss all over the room and make her clean it up. As badly as he wanted to do the latter he couldn’t bring himself to. He pushed himself off of the bed, his foot hitting the floor, and pivoted until he could drop into the chair. When he did he hissed at the pain and the wheeled himself to the bathroom.

When he got back his mother was sitting on the corner of the bed with a sandwich and a bowl of soup. She set them down on the nightstand to help him back to the bed but he shook her off.

“I’m only trying to help, Castiel.”

“You’ve done quite enough.” He took the sandwich and bit off a large piece. “You can’t keep me here forever, you know?”

“I can try,” she said quietly.

Despite the newly awakened hunger in his belly, Cas threw the soup and the rest of the sandwich to the floor.

“I won’t eat until you take me home.”

Naomi stood and called for Michael and Lucifer.

“I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this,” she said sadly. Her two eldest sons came into the room smiling. Lucifer pinned Cas to the bed and, despite his struggles, Michael was able to stick him with a needle. When it was over Lucifer let go and Cas tried to swing at him. His movements were a little slow, though, and were dodged easily.

“Nighty night, little brother,” Michael grinned at him as Cas drifted off.

 

Dean spent the first few days out of the hospital in a drug induced haze. Sam took Thursday off to stay with him and kept feeding him his pain pills. After that he recruited Jess to take over. Gabriel spent most of his time on the phone with his sister trying to find Cas. Anna hadn’t heard back from Haley but it was only a matter of time. Haley was close with both Anna and their mother and, despite her reputation as the family gossip, she almost always had information from home.

On Sunday afternoon Dean decided he had had enough. When he shuffled out to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee Sam and Jess were both waiting for him. Sam pulled the orange bottle off the counter, but Dean stopped him.

“No.”

“Dean, you need to get better. Cas-”

“Cas isn’t here. What I _need_ is to go find him. I’m done with the drugs.”

“Dean,” Jess started.

“No,” he repeated. He sat down in a chair at the table with his coffee. “Look, it’s been… what day is it?”

“Sunday,” Sam grumbled.

“It’s been five days. I’ve been laying in bed for five days while my boyfriend, the man I love, is out there somewhere, probably getting tortured because of me. I’m not sitting around any longer. If no one has found him then…”

“Then what, Dean? What are you going to do?” Sam was starting to get angry.

“I don’t fucking know. But I have to do something! I’ll drive to Illinois and wait outside that bitch’s house if I have to. I can’t just sit here!”

Jess stepped forward and laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder. He flinched but didn’t pull away. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t any of their fault. It was his. He should have just let it go when Cas had chased her out the first time.

“Dean,” she said, “we’re all worried. But we can’t just go out looking when we don’t know where to start. What if you go out to Illinois and he ends up being in Idaho?”

“Then I’ll get on a fucking plane and meet you there.”

“You’re going to get on a plane,” Sam said skeptically.

“For Cas? Yeah, I’ll get on a goddamned airplane. I mean Sam, what if he’s…” His voice broke. He couldn’t say it. He didn’t even want to think it. But he’d heard the horror stories about what happens in those conversion therapy places. He sighed and looked to the floor.

Sam sat in the chair next to his brother. “Dean,” he said calmly, “we’ll find him, okay? He’s alright. If they wanted to… you know… they could have here. I’m pretty sure they want him alive.”

Dean let out a shaky breath. “I’m done with the drugs.”

Sam started to protest but Jess cut in. “Okay,” she said. She grabbed the bottle off of the counter and put them up in one of the cupboards. “For safe keeping. In case we need them for something later.”

Sam gave her a look that said “are you kidding?” but she shrugged it off.

“Just in case,” she said again. Dean nodded.

The sound of the front door opening broke the solemnity in the kitchen and Gabriel ran in.

“We got him,” he panted.

Dean stood quickly and spun around in a way that his body wasn’t ready for. He grit his teeth against the pain. “Where?”

“He’s at home. I mean my mother’s home. He’s there, and he’s alive.”

Dean moved as quickly as he could to his room to throw on some clothes and slipped on his easiest pair of sneakers, the ones he sometimes used for playing basketball. He came back out and grabbed the keys to his Impala. “Well? What are we waiting for?”

Gabriel moved to follow him but Sam and Jess just watched from the kitchen.

Dean turned to looked at Sam. “Aren’t you coming?” He asked incredulously.

“Dean, I have to work tomorrow…” Sam started. Jess put a hand on his shoulder and continued.

“Not only that, but if he manages to escape, someone needs to be here.”

“Fine. See you later.” He spun back around and pulled the door open, followed by Gabriel who flashed a wave at the couple left standing in the kitchen.

 

With Dean driving it took them less than eight hours to get to Springfield, where Cas and Gabe’s mother lived. It was dark when they got there. They parked a block down the street.

“What’s the plan?” Gabriel asked.

“I’m gonna go in there and get him,” Dean said plainly.

“You can’t just waltz in there, Dean. First there’s the alarm system. And second, I’m 100% certain that she’s got Mike and Luci there just in case. I’m sure they know Cas is a flight risk and they might have guessed that you’ll come after him. Especially since they went through so much trouble to put you out of commission.”

“Okay, so I disable the alarm, pick the lock, sneak in, and bring Cas out.”

Gabriel let out an impressed whistle. “You know how to do all that?”

Dean smirked. “I was a troubled youth. Fifteen minutes after I walk in that door I want you to pull the car up to the house. Which room was Cas’?”

“Second floor, first door on the right. How long do I wait?”

“What?”

“If something goes wrong and they catch you…”

“If we’re not ready to leave by the time you pull into the driveway you get Cas and you go. No matter what happens, make sure Cas gets out of there. Then you leave.”

“But-”

“You get Cas home and safe, you hear me?”

“How about we get you both home and safe?”

“That’s the ideal, but there’s always a chance something’s gonna get fucked. Promise me you’ll get him out of here. No matter what.”

Gabriel sighed. “Okay.”

Dean got out of the car and closed the door as quietly as he could while Gabe slipped over to the driver’s seat. He made his way to the house, no, _mansion_ , and found the box of wires he was looking for. He pulled out his pocket knife and went to work, disabling the alarm and the power while he was at it. Then he snuck over to the front door and spent a minute picking the lock. He wasn’t as practiced as he used to be, but old habits die hard.

He slipped into the house as silently as possible and found the staircase. _First door on the right._ It was easy to find. He made his way into Cas’ room and found his boyfriend sleeping on the bed. It was possibly one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He didn’t stare too long. It wasn’t lost on him how easy it had been so far. He sidled up to the bed and put a hand to Cas’ shoulder.

“Cas?” he whispered. He shook the man gently. “Hey Cas, wake up. We’re busting you out of here.”

Cas blinked his eyes open but they stayed a little droopy. “Dean?” He said with a smile that was somehow wrong. In the moonlight Dean could tell that Cas wasn’t right.

“Cas? What did they do to you?”

Cas reached up slowly and grabbed a handful of Dean’s shirt. “Drugged me. Broke m’ hip. ‘m stuck.”

Dean ripped the blanket from Cas then and found half of his body was wrapped in a cast. “Fuck,” he whispered. He hadn’t brought his pain pills with him and his ribs were already singing. He tried to think of how in the world he was going carry Cas down the stairs, but he knew every second was a second closer to getting caught. He didn’t have a choice.

“Okay.” He bent down sliding his hands under Cas and lifted. Cas, thank God, got the idea and clung to Dean as best he could. The fractures in Dean’s ribs began to protest but he did his best to ignore them. They made down to the last five steps before his body gave out and they landed hard at the bottom of the stairs.

“Who’s there?” Came a shout from above them. Gabriel came running into the house.

“Gabe,” Dean commanded from where he was curled up on the floor. They could already hear footsteps coming their way. Gabe bent down and scooped Cas up from under his arms, dragging him toward the doorway.

“Sorry little bro,” he said as Cas grunted. Cas’ eyes went wild when he realized what was happening and he tried to squirm out of his brother’s grip.

“No!” he shouted. Dean was got to his feet but it was too late. Lucifer was at the bottom of the stairs and grabbed him by the back of the shirt as he turned to run.

“Dean!” Cas shouted from somewhere outside.

“Go!” Dean yelled back.

He heard the roar of the Impala and he smiled as Lucifer spun him around and punched him in the face.

 

“Gabriel! What are you doing?” Cas shouted as his brother sid him into the passenger seat. Gabe slammed the door shut and hopped into the driver’s seat. He started the engine.

“The plan was to get you out, Cas. No matter what.”

“We can’t leave Dean with them! They’ll kill him!”

Gabe pulled onto the street and sped away from his childhood home. “If we go back they might kill us all. We’ll go back for Dean once we regroup with everyone else.”

“Who’s everyone else?” Cas asked, suddenly growing tired again. His adrenaline was fading and the drugs were taking back over.

“I don’t know, man! Sam and anyone else who’ll want to help. Look, I know you’re upset but I can’t take on Michael and Lucifer all on my own, and you’re certainly not going to be any help.”

“We can’t let them take’m there, Gabe. They’ll kill’m,” Cas mumbled.

“Jesus, Cas. What did they give you?”

“Dunno, but I hope it wears off,” he yawned, “soon.”

 

Gabriel pulled into a motel parking lot a couple hours later. He hoped it was far enough off the path that they wouldn’t come looking for them there. Cas slept while he made arrangements for a room. When he got back he pulled open the door Cas was laying against and his brother almost fell headfirst onto the blacktop.

Cas’ eyes flew open and he snatched the door handle. “Gabriel, what?”

“Come on, baby bro. We gotta get you into the room. I’m not as strong as your prince charming so you gotta help me somehow.” He pulled Cas out of the car and threw Cas’ arm over his shoulders. Eventually, with a lot of leaning and hopping, they made it into the room where Gabriel deposited his brother onto a bed.

“How are we going to get Dean out of there?” Cas demanded.

Gabe threw his hands into the air. “You gotta give me a chance to figure it out, Cas. I know you’re worried, but we can’t go in there guns blazing. Just… let me call Sam.” He pulled out his phone. Surprisingly, despite the late hour, Sam answered on the second ring.

“Gabe? Where’s Dean?”

“I like how whenever one of us calls the other we automatically think something’s wrong. Maybe we should talk more.”

“So he’s okay?”

“Uh, not exactly.”

“What happened? Can I talk to him?”

“Well, you see, the thing is…”

“Gabe!”

“Well the good news is I’ve got Cas.”

“Gabriel! Where is my brother?” Sam shouted.

“He got left behind.”

“You left him there?”

“I didn’t just leave him there! He told me to go! I couldn’t take on my brothers by myself!”

“What about Cas? Why couldn’t he help?”

Gabriel sighed. “Half of his body’s in a cast. And they gave him something that made him loopy. He’s more awake now but he’s still immobile.”

“Let me talk to him.”

Gabriel handed the phone to Cas, who was watching the entire conversation.

“Sam.”

“Damn, Cas. It’s actually really good to hear your voice again.”

“You too.”

“Cas, do you have any idea what they’re going to do with Dean? I imagine they’re not too happy with him right now.”

“My guess is that they’re going to take him where I was. Sam...” Cas’ voice broke.

“What did they do to you?”

“They tried to ‘cure’ me. Sam, it was awful. And I’m sure it’s only a small fraction of the torture they’re going to put Dean through.”

Sam managed to keep his voice steady. “Do you know where?”

“My uncle’s place is in Idaho, though I don’t know exactly where.”

“That’s okay, Charlie can find it. What’s his whole name?”

“Zachariah Adler.”

 

Sam dropped his phone on the mattress next to him as he sat down. He hung his head and ran a hand through his hair. Jess sat up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, laying her head on his shoulder.

“I should have gone with them,” he whispered.

“If you had gone then they might have gotten you, too, and then where would we be?”

“Or I might have been able to get them all out of there. What was I thinking?”

“You were thinking that Dean can handle himself in a fight. Which he usually can. But you look up to him so much that I think sometimes you forget that he’s human. We will get him, Sam. Don’t worry. You know Dean won’t break easy.”

Sam just sighed and stood. “I better call Charlie before it’s too late.”

 

“Sam? Did you hear from them? Are they safe?” Charlie had been worrying herself sick since she went over to the house to check on Dean and he’d been gone. She gave Sam an earful about letting his brother go out and play the dashing hero when he was still injured and stormed out. She was also hurt that no one had asked her to come along. She might not be much a fighter but she wasn’t useless.

“No, Charlie. I need you to find someone for me.”

“Is it Dean?”

“Indirectly. I need everything you can find on Zachariah Adler. Especially the location of his conversion therapy camp.”

“On it.”

Charlie stood up from the couch in the little apartment she shared with Gilda. She packed up her laptop and slid on her shoes.

“Where are you going?” her girlfriend asked.

“This’ll be easier if I just go over there instead of trying to relay information over the phone. You wanna come with?”

Gilda nodded and they were out the door in less than a minute.

 

Sam heard the knocking and instantly got his hope up. Maybe Dean had escaped somehow. He should have known better. On the other side of the door were Charlie and Gilda.

“What are you two doing here?”

“This’ll be easier,” Charlie said as she pushed past Sam and into the kitchen to set up her laptop on the table. “Somebody call Andy. I’m gonna need a lot of caffeine and pastries.”

“We have coffee here, you know,” Sam grumbled from the doorway.

Charlie turned in her seat. “That was my way of telling you we’re getting Andy involved in this. You’re not the only person who loves those guys, you know. And you’re certainly not the only person who wants to help. Call. Andy. Probably Jo, too.”

“What’re they even going to do, Charlie?”

“When we know what we’re dealing with then we’ll figure out the plan.”

“This isn’t LARPing! This is real life!”

“This isn’t your everyday real life situation! You’ve already got me over here hacking into accounts looking for some sadistic prick! How often does that happen in real life?”

“Alright,” Gilda said calmly, stepping between them. “Sam, why don’t you go get some sleep while Charlie tries to find this guy. I’ll call Andy and Jo and see if they want to help and how. When we know where Dean is we’ll come up with a plan.”

“Yeah, except my two best strategists are missing,” Charlie grumbled. “Wait. Where _is_ Cas?”

“He and Gabriel are in a motel in Missouri. Gabe said he was to tired to drive the rest of the way and they’ll be here tomorrow.”

“That’s no good, the God Squad is probably looking for them. How about you and Andy go pick them up in Andy’s van. It’s got that bed in the back, Gabe can sleep on the way home. I’ll find Zack. Gilda, babe, you make me some coffee.”

“What about me?” said Jess.

“When Cas gets home he’s gonna need looking after. If you wouldn’t mind. Surely his family will come here to look for him, but I’m sure we can get Jody to pack a car outside and Jo’s pretty nifty with a knife.”

Jess nodded “Of course.”

“That’s… actually a really good plan, Charlie,” Sam admitted.

Charlie nodded. “I know what I’m doing. Now get!”

 

When Sam and Andy got back the next morning with Gabe and Cas, Charlie and Gilda were curled up on the couch together and Jo was sleeping in the chair. Charlie woke up when Andy opened the door. Sam and Gabe were carrying Cas. He didn’t look happy. He was shaking and sweating.

“Just put me down somewhere!” he snapped. Jo stood and they deposited him in the armchair.

Charlie raised her eyebrows and looked at the other three men.

Gabe shrugged. “We’re thinking heroin. He’s been sick and bitchy all morning.”

Cas sighed and put his head in his hands. “It’s not my fault,” he mumbled.

Charlie sat on the arm of the chair next to him. “No one’s blaming you,” she said kindly.

He looked up at her. “We have to get Dean.”

“We’re working on it, cupcake. You just chill and get better. We’ll find him.”

“What do you got, Charlie?” Sam asked. She led him over to the computer, which was still open on the kitchen table.

“I found the place in Idaho. It’s called Sandover Salvation. But look.” She brought up a map. “He’s got something in Montana. The deed says it’s just a piece of land but if we zoom in on it…”

“There’s something there,” Sam nodded. “Do you think they would have taken him there?”

“I have no idea. Maybe? But we can’t be driving all over the country looking for him. That’ll take too much time.”

“So what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking we have somebody call the place in Idaho and ask for our buddy Zach. I bet wherever he is is where we’ll find Dean.”

Sam pulled out his phone. “What’s the number.”

“No, not you. If they see the number’s from Kansas they might guess it’s us. I don’t want to take any chances.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak but Charlie continued.

“Gilda’s phone has a Seattle number. I think we’ll have a better chance having her call.”

“Why can’t I just use her phone?”

“Because I can’t trust you to keep your temper. Plus she’s a professional actress. She’s better qualified than any of us.”

“I don’t know if community theatre counts.”

“Maybe if you’d ever come see some of her performances you’d know.”

“Fair point. I’ll come to the next one. With Dean and Cas.”

Charlie smiled. “Gilda? You ready to make that call?” she yelled toward the living room.

Gilda walked into the kitchen. “Cas is upset. Can one of you go be with him while I do this?”

“Where’s everybody else?” Sam demanded.

“Gabriel and Andy fell asleep. Jo’s taking a shower”

“Sam,” Charlie said, “you’ve got to be beat, too. Why don’t you go lay down for an hour or two and we’ll get this done?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep.”

“Well you’re not gonna be able to help if you’re all delirious. Go. Lay down. I’ll wake you as soon as we know anything.”

Sam nodded and turned down the hall toward his room. Charlie went into the living room while Gilda called Idaho.

Charlie sat down next to Cas again and ran her fingers through his hair.

“Talk to me, Goose.”

He leaned toward her as much as his cast would allow. “This is all my fault, Charlie. If… If I’d…”

“If you’d what? What could you have done to stop your crazy family from going crazy?”

“That’s just it. They’re _my_ family. Maybe I should have known better. Dean made me too happy. I should have known. I should have broken it off before…”

“Stop that right now. First of all, you’re talking about Dean like he’s dead. We’re going to find him, Cas. We’ll get him back and you two are going to be grossly happy together again. Secondly, don’t you ever, _ever_ , let me hear you talk about even _thinking_ about hurting Dean just because you’re afraid of being happy. You know I know how to find people. I will hurt you if you hurt him. You both deserve to be happy. You deserve each other. So stop.”

“If he even wants me after this. I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted anything to do with me again.”

“Look. I know you haven’t known him as long as the rest of us, but you should realize by now that _nothing_ is gonna stop him from loving you. And Dean keeps the things he loves close. I’ll be surprised if he ever lets you out of his sight again.”

Cas felt the tears burning in his eyes again. He tucked his head into Charlie’s side and grasped at the back of her shirt. “They electrocuted me, Charlie. They gave me this shit that made me throw up. I had to-” he choked. “I had to have sex with a girl that worked there to convince them that I was ‘cured’. They told me I was going to go home and I was stupid enough to think they’d just let me leave. God, Charlie. I can’t even imagine what they must be putting Dean through right now.”

Charlie rubbed Cas’ shoulder and tried to soothe him. Then Gilda appeared in the doorway.

“Mr. Adler isn’t in Idaho. The receptionist said that he had a ‘special needs’ patient in another facility. She said there was no way to get a hold of him.”

“The place in Montana.”

“That would be my guess.”

“Cas? Do you know anything about your uncle’s place in Montana?”

Cas shook his head. “I didn’t even know he had a place out there. He and I were never really close.”

Charlie sighed. “Well, it’s our only lead.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late update again, sorry. Although, I'm posting it sooner than I expected. I'm not sure if I can blame it on work this time, but maybe on whatever the hell that last episode of SPN was. Man, am I still pissed about that one.
> 
> ANYWAY, I'm still not sure if I'm happy with this chapter, and it's kinda short. But I did improve it from the version it was this morning, so there's that, I guess. I'm feeling kinda rambly, so I'll try to watch that. Sorry.
> 
> ALSO, warning for rapey type situations. As with when Zach had our poor, dear, Castiel, terrible things are afoot for our darling Dean.
> 
> enjoy?

Dean woke up when the small plane bounced into it’s landing in the little clearing. He was bound and gagged but it didn’t deter him from fighting and trying to scream when Zachariah pulled him down from the aircraft and into the jeep that awaited them. He drove a short distance to a shack buried in the woods. Then he pulled Dean out and dragged him across the gravel and branches and into the building. Dean counted three doors other than the one they came in through, trying to get a feel for the small building. Zachariah pulled him into the door on the right. There was a table and a chair, both made out of steel with leather straps attached, and a strange machine in the corner with dials and wires all over it. He had a pretty good idea what it was for.

Zachariah opened a small, black leather case he had been carrying.

“You’re going to feel a little pinch,” he told Dean. “I much prefer this to using physical violence, unlike my nephews.”

Dean tried to pull away but then he felt the prick in his neck and everything faded away.

When he awoke he was strapped, naked, into the chair. His head felt different, colder. And there was something pressing against his temples. His gag had been replaced with a piece of rubber.

“I figured we’d start with a classic and go from there,” Zachariah said when he noticed Dean was awake. Dean tried to give him a look but the other man turned a dial on the machine that was now across from him and he felt a severe pain in his head. His body spasmed. After a minute it stopped and he glared at Zachariah, who just grinned back and turned the dial again.

After repeating it multiple times and what seemed like forever, Zachariah removed the gag and the electrodes.

“Do you remember your name?” he asked.

“Fuck you,” Dean spat.

“Oh, come now, Dean. Electrotherapy is really quite fascinating. All the pain with no residual damage. Except in some cases where there’s some memory loss. I’m just wondering if you’re one of those cases. Because, you see, if I can get you to forget Castiel then maybe we can forgo a lot of the unpleasantness I have planned for you.”

“Go to Hell.”

“Oh, not me, Dean,” Zachariah smiled. “I’m doing God’s work. Hell is where you’ll be going. Castiel, too, if you don’t give him up. You don’t want that, do you?”

Dean tugged on his restraints. “You leave him the fuck alone you sadistic bastard,” he growled.

“Dean, Dean, Dean. I’m only trying to look out for the wellbeing of my family. I mean, that’s what’s important, isn’t it?” He turned back to his bag and pulled out another syringe.

“Cas has a new family now,” Dean glared. “One that accepts him for who he is.”

Zachariah just smiled and plunged the needle into Dean’s arm. He turned to fiddle with his machine, humming to himself, and Dean felt his stomach cramp up.

“You know what’s great about our little situation here, Dean? I’m not actually trying to cure you. You’re basically just a guinea pig for me to see how far I can go before causing too much damage. Or death.” He turned back to face Dean and held a small wire cage in his hand. Dean opened his mouth to respond but started dry heaving instead.

“Oh, when was the last time you ate something?” Zachariah asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

Dean grit his teeth and let out a small whimper as his stomach clenched again.

“Not to worry. I have something that’ll take your mind off the pain in your stomach.” Zach fit the small cage around Dean’s genitals. Dean looked up at him from where he was doubled over.

“Yes, yes, I know. Another classic. What can I say? I admire a lot of the work that’s been done in the past. Though, this is a new toy for me.” He hooked a wire to the cage and pulled a wand out from behind the machine as he turned it on. Dean heaved again. He was sweating and shaking. When Zachariah touched the wand to Dean’s chest he convulsed as the pain shot through his dick to where the wand was.

“I think we’re going to have a lot of fun with this one,” Zach grinned.

Dean didn’t know how long it went on. Eventually he passed out. When he awoke he was outside in a cage. His hands and feet were tied together behind him and the gag was back. He was laying on a floor of sharp rocks and gravel and a cold drizzle had him shivering. Judging by the light it was early morning.  His stomach rumbled and a wave of desperation washed over him. He didn’t know how long he would be able to survive. He wished he could see Cas again. Even if it was just to say goodbye. He wanted to know that he was okay. He wasn’t even positive that he and Gabriel really got away.

His thoughts turned to Sam and his wedding coming up. The future that he and Jess had together. Kids that he might never get to be an uncle to. The new record shop remaining empty. Thanksgivings and Christmases. Claire going to prom and graduating high school. And Cas. The future they could have had together. Reading and writing and listening to music. Spending entire days laying in bed under the blankets, away from cold winters. Vacations they could have gone on. Maybe someday getting married and raising a kid of their own.

He didn’t even try to fight the tears. He had finally found happiness and now it looked like he was never going back to it. His family and his life were finally good. Not just good, amazing. And now there was a good chance of it being over soon. He wasn’t ready.

The door opened behind him and Dean rolled onto his back to see the large man who had attacked him in the alley. Uriel, he thought he remembered Gabe calling him.

“Zack wanted me to come wake you up, but it looks like I’m too late.” A vicious grin spread across his face. “Oh well. Still won’t stop me from having my fun.”

Uriel stomped over to where Dean was lying. Dean tried to squirm away but it was no use. Uriel’s foot came in contact with his broken ribs and he screamed around his gag. He rolled and Uriel grabbed the ropes that bound him. He lifted him slightly and swung him back and forth before letting go and sending Dean flying into the side of the cage, face first. From the ground, Dean blinked up at the monster who stood above him.

“I guess you’re awake enough,” Uriel chuckled. He grabbed Dean by the binds again and dragged him into the building, through the hall and back into the torture room, tossing him onto the steel table.

“Thank you, Uriel,” Zachariah said delightedly. He turned to Dean as the other man left. “Am I going to have to drug you or will you cooperate?”

Dean just glared at him and he sighed. “Fine. Drugs it is.”

Zach poked Dean with a needle and a few seconds later he could feel the sedative working on his body. He tried to fight it - he needed to get out of there - but it was no use. Once it took hold, Zachariah easily maneuvered his limbs to each corner of the table so that he was face down with his ass in the air. he strapped down his knees and elbows and placed the small cage back over his genitals. Then he sat in the chair, waiting for the sedative to wear off.

“This is boring,” Zach pouted. “You know what? Why don’t we watch a movie while we’re waiting?” He got up and left the room for a moment. When he came back he was wheeling a tv on a cart, just like Dean used to see when he was in high school, complete with vcr. Zachariah plugged it in and popped in a tape and pressed play. There was Cas, in black and white, sitting on a small bed. A girl came in and they ate together. The girl kept leaning closer to Cas until he finally kissed her. Dean began huffing around the gag in his mouth.

“You see, Dean? Cas can be perfectly happy without you.”

When Cas laid on top of the girl Dean started to pull at his restraints.

“Oh! Looks like we’re ready!” Zachariah said, cheerfully.

Dean was seething. He wasn’t mad at Cas. It was obvious that that was all part of their “cure” and Cas was doing everything he could to get out of there. No, he was furious at Zachariah. At the girl in the video. At Castiel’s family. At the world in general.

Zachariah turned on the machine and Dean heard the familiar hum, but he was too angry to prepare for the jolt of pain he felt when Zachariah touched the metal wand to his back. He dragged it down and over his ass and then pulled it away. Dean tried to look back at him. If he wasn’t gagged he wasn’t sure if he’d beg for Zach not to do what he’s about to or if he’d just tell him to go to hell. Most likely the second one. But when Zachariah flashed Dean an evil smile he couldn’t help but shake his head at the man. It didn’t matter. Zach set the wand down for a moment and slathered a good amount of vaseline on Dean’s hole. Then, picking up the wand again he shoved it inside him. Dean’s body arched and he screamed behind his gag, tears streaming down his face.

 

* * *

 

Charlie sped to Montana in her little yellow Gremlin and slid into park in front of the little building that held her best friend. She kicked down the front door and stormed down the hallway to the small room where Dean was being kept. She kicked down that door, too, and found herself face to face with a hulking monster of a man who could only be Zachariah. She kicked him in the nuts and kneed him in the face when he doubled over. He let out a high pitched scream and she slammed his head back against a table corner. He slumped to the floor. She ran over to Dean and released him from the torture chair. He dropped to his knees, exhausted and gave her a tight hug around her waist, burying his face in her belly.

“No time for grovelling now. Go find something to cover yourself up with.”

Dean stood, wobbly and naked, and fled the room to do just what she told him. Meanwhile, she dragged Zachariah’s limp body over to the torture chair and lifted him into place. She strapped him down and attached all of his horrific devices to him and turned them all on. She strode out of the room, satisfied, and found Dean dressed in a Gladiator costume. She shrugged it off and led him back to her car.

It took them no time at all to get home, where everyone was waiting for them. Madam Pomfrey was there and had healed Cas’ broken bones in the time she was gone. She high-fived the witch and told her to have Hermione give her a call next time she was in the states. Then Madam Pomfrey flew away on her broom.

Everyone cheered for Charlie as she walked in with Gladiator!Dean. Cas ran up to her and pulled her into a tight hug before pulling Dean off to their bedroom. Gilda (who sometimes looked like ScarJo) crashed their lips together and asked her to marry her. Of course Charlie said yes.

Then Hermione called and said she and Dorothy needed their help defeating the Wicked Witch of the West, so they traveled to the land of Oz and set out for adventure. Suddenly the ground began to shake.

“Charlie?” Sam’s voice floated to her. Somehow one of them must have developed psychic powers.

“Charlie?” His voice echoed again.

“Charlie.”

She sat up with a start, blinking at the dimly lit room around her. Sam leaned over the couch and raised his eyebrows at her.

“We’re about to head out. You sure you’re okay here? We can probably move you guys to Bobby’s or something.”

“No, no,” she waved him off. “We’re fine here. Us women-folk will hold down the fort while the men go off to battle.”

“Look, I know you want to go, but Dean would kill me if anything happened to you, you know that. I wouldn’t be too happy with myself either. You’re not as expendable as the rest of us.” He ignored Gabe’s huff in the background.

“Why? Because I’m a chick?”

“No, because you’re family.”

“But so are-”

“And you don’t know how to fight.”

“ _I_ don’t know how to fight,” Andy whispered. Sam shot him a look.

“We need you to drive the van,” Sam defended.

“I’ll drive it if he doesn’t want to,” Charlie volunteered.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go. I mean, yeah, I’m kinda scared, but kinda excited, you know? Like it’s an adventure.” Sam shot Andy another pointed look. “Uh, besides, the van’s kinda finicky. You gotta know her tells and exactly what buttons to push to make her listen.”

“Uh huh,” Charlie mumbled, unbelievingly. “Just go. And don’t come back without Dean.”

“Yes, your highness,” Sam smirked. “Oh, and you guys can totally crash on Claire’s bed. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. I like it here where I can be up right away if I ever am actually needed.”

Sam sighed. “You _are_ needed, Charlie. Without you we wouldn’t even know where Dean _is_. You’re very important. To all of us.”

“Alright, alright. Go on, already. Go save Maximus.”

Sam cocked his head at her but she shook him off and they were gone.

 

It took nearly eighteen hours to drive to Phillips County, Montana. The closer they got to the coordinates, the more overgrown the road became before Andy questioned whether or not they were actually going toward the right place. Sam insisted that Charlie wouldn’t have made a mistake. Gabriel snored from the bed in the back of the van. He’d had the last driving shift so he was catching a nap before what he called “Operation Escape from Witch Mountain”.

Jess, Charlie, Gilda, and Jo had remained behind to look after Cas and to be there in case his family come looking for him. They also had Sheriff Mills watching the house, though she wasn’t too happy with their plan.

“Don’t you think we should let the police handle this, Sam?”

“What do you think that creep’s going to do if the police show up to his little shack? Either he’s going to hide Dean or kill him.”

“Surely you have more faith in the cops than that?”

“Jody, they couldn’t even figure out who burned down our house when I was a kid. Hell, they couldn’t even figure out _how_ it burned down. No, I gotta do this. Besides, it’s my fault he’s there.”

She didn’t argue anymore. She knew as well as anyone that Winchesters are stubborn once they get their mind set on something.

 

When they were about half a mile away from the spot on Gabriel’s GPS Andy stopped the van. Gabriel snorted awake.

“What is it? We there?”

“Yeah, come on,” Sam said as he climbed out. The two of them walked in the direction that the shack should be. Andy waited in the van, ready to get away at a moment’s notice.

It was still too early for the sun to be up so they found their way by flashlight. Eventually they found it. It was a small, white building, practically gleaming in the moonlight. Then a sound caught Sam’s attention, like something moving through gravel. That’s when he spotted the large cage off the back of the building. And someone was inside. They made their way over and found Dean, naked, bound, and gagged, squirming on the sharp gravel.


	7. Chapter 7

“Dean?” Sam whispered. His brother whipped his head back to look at him. His eyes were wide.

“We’re here to rescue you!” Gabe whispered. They looked around the cage but there were no doors except the one that led into the building. Sam pulled out his knife.

“Can you scoot over here?” Dean manouvered his way across the sharp rocks and Sam cut his binds. Dean almost cried with relief when the gag was removed.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Wow, good to see you, too,” Gabe answered.

“Cas is home with Jess, Charlie, and Jo,” Sam answered. “He’s fine, Dean. He’s got a busted hip, but he’s alright. He’s worried about you.”

Dean’s face softened for a moment. “You gotta get me outta here, Sammy.”

Sam smiled. “That’s why we’re here. We’re gonna go around front and break in. You just sit tight.”

“What else am I gonna do?”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Aww, aren’t you two cute? Maybe we should get moving?”

“Be careful,” Dean warned. “That son of a bitch is strong. And Uriel is here too.”

“Uriel?” Gabe asked. “What’s that son of a bitch doing here?”

Dean shrugged. “Zach said he didn’t like roughing people up, so I guess he called him in to do it for him.”

“Fuck.”

Sam turned to Gabriel. “Look, I don’t give a fuck how many people are in there. Nothing’s gonna stop me from getting Dean out. If you’re not with me then you can go back to the van and wait with Andy.”

“No, I’m with you,” Gabriel replied reluctantly. “I just wish we had brought some real weapons.”

“You brought Andy?” Dean interrupted. “Why didn’t you bring someone useful, like Charlie or Jo?”

Sam shrugged. “He had the van. We didn’t know what kind of shape you would be in. And he’s not useless. He went with me to pick up Cas, too.”

“Why couldn’t Gabe just take Cas in the Impala?”

“Because I’m not as strong as you freaks,” Gabe hissed. “It really wasn’t a piece of cake to get him from the car to the motel room. I figured if I could get someone else to do it, that’s exactly what I was gonna do.”

Dean started to respond but Sam interrupted him. “Look, we can bitch about this later. Right now I just want to get this done.”

“Just…” Dean started. “You guys be careful.”

Sam nodded and then they disappeared around the corner.

Dean was so relieved to be free. Well, almost free, but still. He wasn’t sure if his legs would support him, he hadn’t used them in days, but he pulled himself up along the side of the cage. He was going to need to be ready to bolt as soon as Sam and Gabe came through that door. Hopefully they brought him something to wear.

 

It didn’t take Sam much time to pick the lock on the front door.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Gabe raised an eyebrow.

Sam shrugged. “We had a troubled childhood.”

Gabe just tilted his head and followed Sam into the small building. They had almost reached the back door when a large figure stepped in front of them.

“Hello, Gabriel,” Zachariah sneered. “Who’s your friend?”

 

Andy was just starting to feel the effects of his blunt when he saw a figure walking toward the van. At first he didn’t think anything of it, figuring that one of the guys was heading back for some reason. Then he realized that the body shape didn’t match anyone he came with or for. He tried to slink down into the seat but then it registered that the person coming was coming for the van, and anyone who might be in it. He was a sitting duck, which might have made him giggle a little.

He flipped on the lights, hoping to blind the intruder (well, technically they were the intruders, but who cares about technicalities at this point) and started the engine. The figure ran toward the van and just as Andy shifted into gear a hand reached into his window and grabbed his arm.

“Oh no you don’t,” Uriel growled.

“Oh yes I do,” Andy shot back and hit the gas. The van lurched into reverse and for a moment Andy thought he was going to be yanked out the window. Eventually, though, Uriel lost his footing and his grip and slid to the ground. He stood back up and ran toward the van and Andy hit the breaks. _Please don’t let me kill him please don’t let me kill him_ he thought to himself as the threw the gearshift into drive and hit the gas.

 

Dean was leaning against the door when he heard the unmistakable sound of bodies slamming against walls. He tried the doorknob, but, unsurprisingly, it was locked. He pounded his fist against it.

“Hey! Hey fucker! Leave them alone! You got me, isn’t that enough?” he shouted. The crashing stopped and the doorknob jiggled. Dean took a few wobbly steps back, his heart pounding in his chest. When the door opened he saw the unmistakable shape of his brother’s ridiculously tall form. Sam took a few steps forward when it looked like Dean’s legs were going to give out.

“Jesus, Sam,” Dean mumbled. “It’s good to see you.” Sam wrapped his brother in a hug.

“You too.”

“Alright you two, break it up. We gotta get out of here before that dickweed wakes up. Oh, and, uh, Uriel wasn’t in there. At least, he didn’t join in on the attack if he was. Maybe he left already?”

Dean’s forehead creased with worry. “You don’t think he went after Andy, do you?”

“Shit,” Sam tensed up. “We better hurry back.”

“Tell me you guys at least brought me something to wear,” Dean pleaded. He was tired of being exposed. “Or at least a blanket.”

“If Zachariah was sleeping here,” Sam said, “there should be one in his room.”

Dean groaned.

“It’s that or be naked,” Gabe offered. “And I gotta say, I’m voting for the blanket.”

Wrapped in a thin, scratchy blanket, Dean stumbled out the front door between Gabe and Sam and wondered how the hell he was going to make back to Andy before Uriel could do too much damage. That was when Gabe spotted the Jeep.

“Did either of you see a set of keys while we were in there?”

Sam and Dean both smiled in unison and said, “Who needs keys?”

Dean swatted Sam off when he tried to help him into the back of the vehicle. He was hungry, not an invalid. He managed to pull himself in and then sprawled across the seat. Meanwhile, Sam worked on hotwiring the car. Gabe leaned over the seat and raised his eyebrows at Dean.

“I’m starting to second guess letting my brother into your family.”

Dean just flipped him the bird and closed his eyes as the engine started.

 

Andy was finally relaxed enough to feel the warm tendrils of his high wrap around his brain when he saw headlights coming at him. He jumped, turned the ignition, and threw the van into reverse again. As he started to back up the vehicle in front of him stopped and Sam jumped out.

“Andy! Andy, stop!” Sam yelled. “It’s us!”

Andy put the van in park and slid out. “You guys scared the shit out of me! Did you find him?”

His question was answered when he saw Dean slide out of the back seat of the jeep. He waved and turned his attention back to Sam. “Nice. I got one too.” He nodded at Uriel crumpled at the side of the path. “I, uh, don’t know if he’s still breathing. I didn’t exactly go over there to check.”

Sam glanced around at the rest of the group and when he realized that no one was going to go over there to see if Uriel was still alive he huffed and made his way over. He tensed up as he reached down to check for a pulse, wary that Uriel might still actually be conscious and ready to attack. Luckily, not only was he unconscious, but also still living. He actually didn’t even look banged up to bad, and Sam had no qualms about leaving him on the side of the road. As he walked back to the group he shot them a thumbs up.

Dean shook his head and made his way to the van. Andy pulled the back doors open and Dean spied the bed.

“As disgusting as that probably is, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen right now.” He pulled himself up and flopped down on the mattress. “Who’s got a phone?”

Gabriel tossed his satellite phone from the front seat. “Cas doesn’t have his phone anymore, though. You’ll have to call someone else.”

“Charlie’s with him,” Sam said and rattled off her number.

Charlie’s phone rang a few times before she answered. Dean assumed it was because she didn’t know the number.

“Hello?”

Dean smiled. It was amazing to hear his friend’s voice. “Your Highness.”

“Dean! They found you? Are you okay?”

“I’m alive. Not too badly damaged. I love you and all, but is Cas around?”

Charlie chuckled. “He’s in bed. Just a sec.”

Dean heard Charlie’s muffled voice tell Cas he had a phone call. Cas must have checked the caller ID.

“Gabe?” he sounded wary, scared.

“Guess again,” Dean didn’t even try to fight the smile that painfully split his face.

“Dean,” Cas breathed. “I was afraid…”

“Can’t get rid of me that easy. How you holding up, babe?”

“I’ll be better once you’re home, but I suppose I’m alright.”

“The girls taking good care of you there?”

Cas huffed a small laugh. “Yes. Charlie and Gilda have been here almost non-stop. Jo came over earlier and brought some food from Ellen. I might be able to eat it now. And Sheriff Mills has been outside most of the time you’ve been gone. When it’s not her it’s a woman named Donna.”

“You haven’t been eating?”

“I guess I was too worried.”

“Cas, babe, you gotta eat.”

“What about you? Did he feed you?”

Dean went quiet.

“Dean? You haven’t eaten this entire time?”

“I’m hungry as a motherfucker, but I’m sure we’ll stop somewhere once we find civilization.” He looked at Sam. “Where the hell even are we?”

“Montana. We’ve got about a twenty hour drive before we get home. We’ll stop soon and get you some soup.”

Dean wanted to argue that he didn’t want soup but he still had Cas on the line so he settled for rolling his eyes.

“We’ll be home in about a day. Will you eat something for me before then?”

“Yes, Dean.”

“Good. Did you get your meds?”

Dean could practically hear Cas’ eye roll. It just made him smile harder. “Yes, Dean.”

“Alright, good. I’m gonna pass out for a while but I’ll call you later, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too, Dean.” Cas’ voice broke.

“God I miss you so much,” he whispered.

“I know. I miss you too. Tell them to drive safe with my precious cargo.”

Dean blushed. “Yeah, okay. Eat something. I’ll be home in no time.”

It was obvious that neither of them wanted to say goodbye, so Dean hung up the phone and handed it back to Gabe. “Thanks, man.”

 

“Charlie?” Cas called. When she came into his room he handed her her phone. “Could you help me into my chair?” he asked sheepishly. Jess had stopped by a medical supply store and picked one up for him the first night he had been home.

“Of course,” she smiled sweetly. “Feeling better now? I told you we’d get him back.”

“Yes,” he smiled. She held him steady as he hopped with his right leg until he was in front of the chair. Then she helped him sit down slowly. “I can’t wait until this thing is healed,” he grumbled.

“I know.” She walked behind him as he wheeled himself toward the kitchen. “How’s Dean?”

“He didn’t even talk to you?”

“I think he had more important things on his mind. You guys are kind of disgustingly in love,” she smirked. “Although, he did tell me he loved me. Scared me a little, tbh.”

Cas crinkled his head in confusion. “TBH?”

“To be honest? Cas, you really need to get down with the lingo if you’re gonna have a teenage daughter.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. She’s getting too old already.”

Charlie hummed. “Anyway, what did Dean say? None of the pervy stuff, please.”

“There was no ‘pervy stuff’. He says he’s okay but... Charlie, Zachariah didn’t feed him at all.”

“Well, I mean, it’s only been, what? Two, three days, tops? I mean it’s bad but not necessarily deadly, right? I mean, he’ll be okay.”

“Yes, but I’m sure he didn’t plan on feeding him ever. Plus I have a fairly good idea what other kinds of torture he put him through.” Cas ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath.

Charlie walked around and squatted in front of him. She laid a hand on his arm. “Hey. He’s okay. He’s alive and coming home and then you two can nurse each other back to health. He’s gonna be fine, Cas. He’s in good hands now.”

“I know,” Cas sighed. Satisfied, Charlie stood. He looked up at her. “I promised Dean I would eat something…”

“Well, lucky for you we still have some leftover pork chops that Ellen sent over.”

 

“I’m not eating any goddamn soup, Sam. Just get me a couple burgers.”

Sam sighed. “Fine. But when you throw up because your stomach can’t handle anything that heavy yet, we’re not pulling over.”

“Uh, yeah we are,” Andy piped in.

Sam added the cheeseburgers to their order and paid at the window. Dean made it about halfway through one before he looked up at Sam with an “oh shit” expression. Sam just raised his eyebrows. Dean took a couple deep breaths and then held up his hand, shaking his head. He let out a soft burp and smiled, giving his brother a thumbs up. Then he wrapped the rest of the sandwich up and ate the soup Sam got him, saving the burgers for later.

It was a fairly uneventful drive back to Kansas. They stopped to get Dean a t-shirt and a pair of jog pants so he didn’t have to wrap himself up in the blanket every time he needed to use the restroom. He ended up burning the blanket on the side of a stretch of highway. He wanted nothing from that place and he was already stuck with the memories. Thankfully no one asked him about it. He was surprised that Sam didn’t try to have a heart to heart, but maybe his brother realized that this was not something he wanted to talk about.

Cas would want to know. He wouldn’t outright ask, but Dean knew he’d be curious. He wondered how long he could put it off. He tried to think of things that he could use to deflect, but any time sex crossed his mind he felt like his skin was tightening up. Then he grew furious. If that bastard ruined his favorite pastime with his favorite person he’d come back and make him oh so very sorry.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I don't even know what day it is anymore but I think this is mostly on time? I've been distracted, as you may know if you follow me on twitter, by Hillywood's Supernatural Parody. BUT I made sure to take some time out between that and Rock Band with my brother to get this done. I hope you like it.

Dean was asleep when they pulled into the driveway of the little house he called home. Sam was driving so Andy was in the back with him and he reached over and shook Dean awake.

“Home sweet home,” he smiled.

Dean blinked at him a couple times before it registered. _Home_. He sat bolt upright and scrambled to the back of the van, jiggling the handle to let himself out. Finally the door opened from the other side, Gabriel standing there, smiling softly. He turned to look at the doorway of the house and there was Cas, illuminated from behind from the light in the house. He was sitting, but Dean recognized him anyway. He’d be able to recognize the man he loved no matter what position he was in, and yes, that included all the dirty ones.

He jumped down from the van and ran over to the doorway, falling on his knees in front of Cas and cradling his face in his hands. He pulled him forward and kissed him deeply.

“Hi,” he whispered after he finally pulled back.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas smiled. Dean let out a broken sob and wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist, burying his head in his lap. Castiel fisted the back of Dean’s shirt and ran his fingers over his scalp. “Your hair…”

“I gotta find a new barber,” Dean joked.

“Let’s get inside,” Cas suggested. “We have company.”

Dean nodded and rocked back on his heels before standing. He dragged a hand down his face before following Cas. If anyone noticed that his cheeks were a little wet, well, no one said anything.

When Dean walked into the living room everyone jumped up to greet him. In addition to Charlie and Gilda there was Ellen, Jo, Bobby, and Benny. Everyone hugged him and made small talk about how they just wanted to make sure they made it home alright. Bobby commented on how much Dean looked like shit and Ellen slapped him before convincing everyone that they needed to give the boys time to settle in and making sure they’d be coming over for breakfast or dinner soon. Then Dean and Cas were alone.

“Sam’s not staying home tonight?” Cas asked.

Dean shrugged. “He said something about giving us space.” Cas nodded stiffly and Dean asked, “Is that okay?”

“Yes. Yeah, it should be fine. Is the sheriff still outside?”

Dean walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain. Sheriff Mills’ cruiser glistened in the moonlight.

“Yup. Still there.”

Cas relaxed a little and nodded.

“I’m here, too, Cas. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

Cas looked up at Dean and reached out for him. Dean kneeled in front of his chair again.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked desperately.

Dean took a shaky breath and shook his head, giving Cas a small smile. “No. But I will be.”

Cas squeezed his hand and brought it to his face. “Help me get to bed?”

“Sure thing, baby.” Dean wheeled Cas into their bedroom and lifted him out of the chair, laying him in bed gently.

“I’m going to take a shower, okay?” Dean could still feel the grime and uneasiness from that place and traveling on the road. He’d tried to wash up at a rest stop but nothing is the same as your own shower in your own home.

“Of course,” Castiel said, understanding like no one else could. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Dean instantly thought of a snarky comeback, but wasn’t really feeling it so he bent down and gave Cas a light kiss on the forehead.

“I won’t be long.”

 

As Dean stood under the hot spray he could feel the last couple weeks wash off of him. The tension from meeting Cas’ mother, the worry from Cas’ disappearance, and the stress from all abuse he had taken washed down the drain as he inhaled the familiar scent of their soap and the feel of their shampoo. He was finally starting to feel normal again.

Afterward, Dean crawled into bed next to Cas and they lay facing each other for a while. Cas reached out and wrapped a hand behind Dean’s head. Dean moved forward so their foreheads were touching. They lay there for what felt like a long while, just staring into each other’s eyes before Cas finally spoke up.

“I was so worried.”

Dean nodded and surged forward to kiss him. “Me too,” he mumbled against his lips.

“I had our friends to protect me.”

“I didn’t know if you and Gabe made it.”

Cas nodded. “When he had me I was afraid you were dead. Then after they got you…”

“We’re alive,” Dean whispered. “We’re okay.” He pulled Cas’ shirt off and slid his hands down to the top of his cast. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ back and pulled him closer. Cas fingered the hem of Dean’s shirt and pulled it off. He slid his hands down Dean’s back and under the waistband of his pants. That’s when Dean froze. Cas started to slide his hand back up Dean’s side and Dean caught it, pulling it to his mouth and kissing his knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Cas shook his head.

“It’s not your fault.”

Dean started to shake and Cas held him tight while he quietly cried into his shoulder. He was still clinging to Cas when he fell asleep. Castiel kissed the top of his head and whispered love filled nonsense to the man cradled in his arms until sleep took him as well.

 

Cas woke up when Dean flailed, desperately trying to get out of the hold that Cas had him in. As soon as he was freed Dean sat bolt upright, sweating and panting hard.

“Dean?” Cas reached out to grab his arm but as soon as his fingers brushed it Dean flinched and Cas pulled away.

“Sorry,” Dean muttered.

“It’s okay,” he said, wishing he could at least sit up with Dean.

Dean sighed and pushed himself off the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

He made his way into the kitchen and poured himself a whiskey. The bottle clinked against the tumbler as Dean poured, hands still shaking. He heaved an unsteady sigh and dragged a hand down his face. He was safe, he kept telling himself. Cas was with him and everything was alright. He downed his drink and poured himself another. Then he brought down another glass and poured one for Cas. It wasn’t fair to leave him in the room like that and he knew Cas would have followed him out if he could. They’d have sat at the table and talked things out.

He walked back to the room with the drinks and Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed. Dean silently sat next to him and handed him his drink. Cas took a sip and then held it in his lap, hunching over it slightly.

“I’m really sorry,” Dean said quietly.

“You have no need to apologize, Dean. I don’t know what happened but I have no doubt it was truly awful. I shouldn’t have tried to-”

“No, Cas. Stop, okay? This isn’t your fault as much as it isn’t mine. You didn’t… He…” Dean rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Cas shook his head.

“I know, but I should. I need to. And honestly, I don’t know if I can talk to anyone else about it.”

“Well then I’m here. I’ll listen.”

Dean finally looked at Cas and waited until he looked back. “You gotta promise me you won’t blame yourself.”

“I-”

“I know you, Cas. This isn’t your fault. You gotta believe that.” He reached over and took Cas’ hand. “Okay?”

Cas sighed and nodded. Dean told him everything. When he finished he was shaking, but Cas was the one who was crying. He pulled Dean close and tucked his face into his neck.

“Dean…”

“Don’t, Cas. Don’t apologize for them.”

Cas shook his head. “But I am sorry that you went through that.” Dean nodded and they were silent for a moment. “That woman,” Cas went on. “That woman, she…”

“I know, Cas. I know. I don’t blame you.”

Cas pulled back to look at Dean but Dean smashed their mouths together. He kissed Cas hungrily and grasping at every bit of flesh he could get his hands on. Cas reciprocated, careful to keep his hands above Dean’s waist. Dean carefully laid them down. It took everything he had not to wrap his leg around Cas’ casted one, but he didn’t want to hurt him. His own hips thrusted forward and he gasped.

“God, Cas. Missed you so much.”

Cas whined and mewled and nipped at Dean’s ear. Dean reached between them and grasped their cocks together. Cas panted and wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him impossibly closer. His hips were bound by the cast and it was driving him crazy, but Dean knew just how to work him anyway and in no time they were coming together. Dean cried out as Cas’ embrace grew tighter and then they held each other for what felt like for ever. Eventually their grips on each other slackened and they both flopped back onto their backs.

“We are never going that long without sex again,” Dean breathed out.

“Agreed.”

Dean reached out and intertwined their fingers before slipping back off to sleep.

 

The next day Dean, Cas, and Jody had a chat about what to do next. She was more than happy to get various other police departments on the case. Cas’ brothers and their lackeys were arrested for assault and kidnapping, his mother for conspiracy and aiding and abetting. His uncle, fortunately, had videotaped everything that went on in his facilities. They found tapes of the things he did to both Cas and Dean, and countless others. Well, someone would have to count how many others, but it wasn’t going to be Dean or Cas.

The arrests of Cas’ family did little to quell Dean’s nightmares. Especially since they were sure there were still threats out there. Zachariah’s sons, Malachi and Bartholomew, had escaped prosecution since they were never actually involved with their father’s work, but Cas was sure they’d want revenge. Jody made sure the area was heavily patrolled for the next couple weeks but after a while things started to go back to normal.

Dean insisted on getting an alarm system for the house since he had to go back to work, and he didn’t like leaving Cas alone there so he made sure someone was there with him as much as possible. Cas, on the other hand, wasn’t keen on being treated like he was incapable.

“Dean, I can take care of myself.”

“Just, do this one thing for me, okay? So I’m not at work all day freaking out.”

Cas sighed. “Fine. But don’t use this,” he knocked on his cast, “as an excuse anymore. I know you’re worried. I worry too. But I don’t need to feel like an invalid.”

“You’re right.” Dean bent down and kissed Cas on the ear. “I’m sorry.”

Cas pulled out his new phone and pressed a button. “Can you say that again?”

“What?”

“The ‘you’re right, I’m sorry’ part. Can you say it again? And clearly, please.”

Dean huffed a laugh and took the phone out of Cas’ hand. He brought it up to his mouth. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I love you.”

 

***

_**Two month** **s** **later** _

 

Sitting on their bench Dean looked out over the lake, running his fingers through Cas’ hair as he lay in his lap. Cas gave a quiet, happy sigh, a lazy grin spread across his face in the sunshine.

“You know,” Dean said thoughtfully, “we sure do go to court more than any other couple I know.”

Cas chuckled and hummed in agreement. Dean looked down at this man he loved and the warmth that spread inside him flared much hotter than the late spring air. He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before speaking again.

“Cas?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you marry me?”

“Mm hmm,” Cas hummed thoughtlessly.

“That whole time I was...” Dean started. “I thought I was going to die there, and all I could think about was all the things I was going to miss out on. All the things I’d never get to do with you…”

Cas blinked his eyes open and squinted up at his boyfriend before sitting up and facing him.

“You’re serious.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

“After all the shit that we’ve been through, mostly because of me.”

“Cas…”

“Well it’s true. Amelia, my family… Dean they tortured you.”

“I know, I was there.” There was a brief silence between them. “It’s not like it can get any worse, Cas.”

Castiel sighed and his shoulders slumped. “The marriage laws here are fucked up, Dean. I don’t know if it would even be legal…”

“I didn’t ask if you _will_ marry me, I asked if you _would_.” Dean sat back, slightly away from Cas. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe Cas didn’t want anything so permanent. He licked his lips and looked away.

Cas placed a hand on Dean’s cheek and turned his head to look at him. He leaned forward so that their foreheads were touching. “Of course I would marry you, Dean Winchester.”

Dean closed his eyes tight and let out a broken laugh as relief washed over him.

Cas tilted his head. “Did you have any doubt?”

Dean looked away shyly and shrugged.

Cas tipped Dean’s head up again and kissed him soundly. “If I knew it would stick I’d march right down to the courthouse with you right now and get it done.”

“We could always move…” Dean suggested. Cas shook his head.

“Our friends and family are here, Dean. We shouldn’t have to move. We’ll wait it out. It’s only a matter of time. Unless you want to move?”

Dean shook his head. “Not even a little. But I would, if it was what you wanted.”

“Sometimes you have to think about what you want.”

“Hey, I asked you to marry me, didn’t I?”

“No, you asked if I _would_ marry you, as you pointed out. I believe that’s your way of trying to figure out what I want.”

Dean huffed a laugh and knocked their shoulders together. “Stop knowing me so well.”

Cas just grinned. “Never.”

“Come on, let’s go check out the store.”

“Dean, we were just there a couple hours ago. I’m sure it still looks the same.”

“But it’s almost finished!” Dean jumped up and held out his hand for Cas. Cas took it and pulled himself up and Dean handed him his cane. No, _walking stick_ , because if you called it a cane to his face he’d hit you with it. Hard.

Dean smirked to himself as Cas took the walking stick from him. “You gonna be alright there, old man?”

Cas shifted his weight and pointed it at Dean. “I _will_ hit you.”

Dean waggled his eyebrows at him. “Promise?”

Cas breathed a laugh and rolled his eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah.”

 

A few minutes later they were standing in front of the new record shop. It was white and modern, and had a huge apartment on top. Nothing like to old, little shop that had been there before. Dean stopped in the street to smile up at it while Cas made his way to the sidewalk. Then Dean shoved his hands in his pockets before walking up behind Cas. He wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist.

“Cas,” he whispered against his ear. He opened his right hand in front of him, exposing a silver ring. “Will you marry me?”

Cas turned around and looked Dean in the eye, a watery smile plastered to his face.

“Yes.”

Dean wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply.

“Get a room, you two!” Charlie shouted from the door of the costume shop. Dean waved her off, but then Cas yelled over to her.

“We’re engaged!”

Charlie screeched and shut the door behind her, locking it, so she could run across the street to them.

“You’re fucking kidding me! Who finally got the balls to ask?”

Cas held out his hand to show off the ring that he must have slipped on while Dean wasn’t paying attention. Dean blushed furiously.

“You know Sam’s gonna kill us for not telling him first,” he mumbled.

“Not if Ellen beats him to it,” Cas commented back while Charlie inspected the ring.

“Oh shit, I forgot about Ellen.” Then he noticed Charlie pulling out her phone. “What are you doing?”

“I have to tell Gilda she owes me fifty bucks!”

“You two were betting on us?”

“Not just us two, basically everyone. After everything that happened and you two were even more grossly in love than ever? It was just a matter of who was going to pop the question.”

“You bet against me?” Cas asked incredulously.

“I was just playing the odds. Most people didn’t think Dean would nut up.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this!” Dean threw his hands in the air.

“Well at least no one is going to be surprised.”

“I guess,” Dean pouted.

“Hey,” Cas took his hand in both of his. “I was surprised.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“You guys are so disgusting,” Charlie smiled, tapping away on her phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. Finally all done with this one, and I'm kinda glad. This one took me places I wasn't too fond of and I had a hard time getting a lot of it out. I feel like this one was more work than normal and I'm not really sure why. (I also don't think it's my best work but someone once said that authors aren't supposed to say those things aloud.) Anywho. I guess it's time to start something else. Or finish one of the many I've started. I hope you stay tuned.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. They mean a lot to me. I know I say this a lot, but that doesn't make it any less true. I'm constantly checking my email for notifications, especially when I need some cheering up. Sometimes you guys are what help me get through the day and I can't thank you enough.
> 
> Love you all.


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